The end of the world is on its way, heralded by four horsemen: disaster porn auteur Roland Emmerich, paycheck-cashing actor John Cusack, a just-happy-to-be-there Amanda Peet, and Adam Lambert. In the meantime, the latter's music video for Emmerich's 2012 sprung up today, and it reveals several glimpses of Emmerich's apocalyptic free-for-all. Spoilery glimpses, in fact -- and not just on the level of "Which vehicle is going to outrun which collapsing city?"
In between shots of Lambert making so, so many cry faces while lip-synching his new ballad, "Time for Aerosmith Miracles," we get a look at the narrative spine of Emmerich's 2012. First revelation: It has one! Second revelation: Waaaait just a second. I thought this movie was about the end of the world, not, like, a near-end of the world that concludes with everyone hanging out and appreciating their families more during a great sunset. The Mayans didn't write a new calendar that picks up a few months after 2012 and starts from there -- they invented a calendar that presages John Cusack's futile attempt to ride a unicycle away from earth's molten core as the planet collapses inward on itself, creating a black hole. Baby, it's time for rewrites.