Ever since getting the word last week about the live-action Bazooka Joe adaptation planned by Michael Eisner, I've been lost in a sugar rush of potential concepts and back stories for the one-eyed hero's big-screen debut. Funny or Die, meanwhile, has its own ideas, and judging by the NSFW scenes after the jump, we might share a vision of a darker gum mascot for a new millennium.
This is the R-rated Joe that screenwriter Mark Hammer should seriously consider for his film: young, hungry, more than a little vengeful, and ultimately out for payback for his lost eye. Surely Mort will wind up chainsawed in a shower at some point, but that's the cost of being in the bubble-gum business. Nobody said it was pretty. Keep the ideas coming, dear reader; assuming Eisner doesn't shut this party down, we may come up with a shooting script -- hell, a finished movie -- before the producers do.
ยท Exclusive Bazooka Joe Movie Scene [Funny or Die]