Here's part of the synopsis from the Tribeca Film Festival Handbook:

Already deep into a second Cold War, Britain’s Ministry of Defence seeks a game-changing weapon and enlists brilliant programmer Vincent McCarthy to research and develop a cybernetic super soldier in a secret governmental lab. When a programming bug causes his prototype to run amok, McCarthy takes his obsessive efforts underground, far away from inquisitive eyes. Soon he has perfected the ideal marriage of human and machine in his ultimate creation, a beautiful and dangerous being that may be the key to ending the endless war, but a sentience stirring inside the machine puts everyone’s plans in jeopardy.

Now, pay special attention to the first two photos:

There are more than two cyborgs in the movie apparently, and at least two are women.  The actress in the second photo, with the Flock of Seagulls haircut and nasty incision on her head  is Pooneh Hajimohammadi, but the second half of the synopsis reveals that another actress will be playing one of the cyborgs and that, gulp, "technoromance" takes place. It's like the Svedka vodka ad came to life.

With rare vision, jaw-dropping special effects and Caity Lotz’s (The Pact) versatile and nuanced interpretation of a machine that may be the most human character of all, visionary director Caradog James fully realizes his unique future dystopia. The Machine is an entertaining, thought-provoking techno romance and the latest gripping sci-fi adventure to come out of the U.K.

Here's Lotz in the exclusive Yahoo! trailer:

Gentlemen Prefer Blond Cyborgs

Well, helloooo, ladies! The film premieres at the film festival on Saturday.

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Freaky, no? According to an interview Foxx gave to BlackFilm in December and other photos I've seen of him on the set, he'll look nothing like the Sith lord when he emerges from that item of clothing. Fox appears to have subtle lightning-bolt-like veins on his neck and face. (Sidious looks like a more humanoid version of Yoda.) And he's said that he'll have "bolts and stuff in my arms when they are hanging me upside down and trying to figure out what [happened]."

Not sure if Foxx means lightning bolts or actual Frankenstein-like bolts, but, if his upside-down scenes are anything like the ones he had in Django Unchained, I guess we'll also find out if those bolts are everywhere on his body, if you know what I mean.

Now, I'd love to see a shot of Paul Giamatti as the Rhino — as long as he doesn't look like Dexter Jettster.

Shocking Similarity:

[Blackfilm]

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The distributor has unveiled a teaser poster for the film at CinemaCon, which is taking place in Las Vegas April 15-18.  The symbolism borrows from Park's original: they're the scratches that the imprisoned protagonist Oh Dae-su (Choi Min-sik ) uses to keep track of time.

That character gets an American makeover in Lee's version:  He's now Joe Doucett (Josh Brolin), and, according to the official synopsis he's an advertising executive

 "who is abruptly kidnapped and held hostage for 20 years in solitary confinement. When he is inexplicably released, he embarks on an obsessive mission to discover who orchestrated his bizarre and torturous punishment only to find he is still trapped in a web of conspiracy and torment."

These clues leave me with a handful of questions, most of them having to do with other plot points from the original that are ripe for homage:

1) There are a lot of advertising executives I'd like to see locked away, but for 20 years?  What did he do, devise those Kia ads with the hipster hamsters?

2) In the original Oh Dae-su tracked down his captor via the dumplings he was fed in prison every day. If an American comfort food is substituted, what will it be? Macaroni & Cheese?

3) Will the live octopus-eating scene be referenced? (If you haven't watched the original Oldboy, you should, but, in the meantime, I've posted the scene below.)

4) Will incest figure into the plot as it did in the original?  If so, American audiences will squirm enough that reprising the live octopus scene won't be necessary.

5) Does Lee's brother Cinqué Lee have a thing about playing bellhops? He plays one in this movie, and he played one in Jim Jarmusch's 1989 film Mystery Train.

If you crave more Oldboy info while you wait for a trailer,  check out my interview with director Park in which he explains why he's not interested in seeing Lee's remake until it's released.

And order up some live sushi:

Now that's fresh

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Just in time for April Fool's Day, Colbert makes the appearance at the 1:28 mark in this excerpt of a Q&A that Jackson conducted with fans who bought the Blu-Ray version of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey last week. The clip also includes a first look at the second film in Jackson's planned trilogy, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, but the hight point is Colbert's slightly unhinged appearance.  If he is not the number-one Tolkien geek on this planet, then he sure has me fooled.

Jackson demonstrates that he' s capable of being funny, too, and responds to Colbert's multi-part question with a simple "yes," before raising his own geeky question about The Colbert Report coffee mug that he used on his last appearance.

The moral of the story:  If you appear on The Colbert Report, bring your own mug.

Stephen Colbert's Very Involved Question About 'The Desolation Of Smaug'

[Deadline]

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In this shot, Pattinson is oozing blood, not drinking it and looking a little hot under the collar as he is threatened by an even grungier looking Guy Pearce. According to Hey Guys.co.uk, the movie is set in the near future where "a worldwide financial collapse has sent people to the mines of the Australian desert."  Pattinson is described as a "troubled and damaged soul" who's a member of the gang that has run afoul of the "dark, dangerous and murderous" Pearce. Here's the official synopsis:

Eric (Pearce) has left everything, everyone and every semblance of human kindness behind him when a gang of desperate criminals steals his last possession.  Eric sets off on a ruthless mission to track them down, forced along the way to enlist the help of Rey (Pattinson), the naïve and injured junior member of the gang who was left behind in the chaos of the gang’s most recent robbery.

The movie is expected to hit theaters in 2014, and it also features the very talented Scoot McNairy who played memorable characters in Killing Them Softly,  Argo and Promised Land last year.

[Hey Guys]

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Vergara plays Lady Desdemona in this sequel to Rodriguez's blood-soaked 2010 picture Machete. According to EW, the follow-up, which hits theaters in September "revisits the title character, Machete Cortez, (Danny Trejo) a dangerous, hard-luck anti-hero. This time the U.S. government (led by Charlie Sheen in the Oval Office) recruits Machete to battle his way through his native Mexico to topple an arms dealer who wants to rain destruction on the U.S. with a orbital weapon."

It's worth noting that the cast includes Lady Gaga, who appeared on a recent cover of Rolling Stone in a similar Fem-bot-style bra.  Wonder who got the idea from whom?

[EW.com]

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Based on the images below,  the film's costume designer Trish Summerville should consider establishing a men's line (as long as she doesn't stray too far into Stanley Tucci /Caesar territory), but whoa, she'd get ripped a new one by Joan Rivers for her women's wear.  I'm guessing that Jennifer Lawrence/Katniss' winged outfit is Mockingjay-inspired, and it certainly will be mocked. Thank God JLaw didn't wear that number to the Oscars.

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Back in December, Phillips gave Entertainment Weekly  a hint of the plot saying that Galifianakis' character, Alan, would be the focus of the third film.''He's going through a crisis after the death of his father, [and] the Wolfpack is all he has.'' Galifianakis also told Rolling Stone that his buds, presumably Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms and Justin Bartha, break him out of a mental institution.

Although Las Vegas appears to be in flames at the bottom of the poster, Phillips has said that Sin City won't be the only location visited by the Wolf Pack.

The Hangover Part III opens on May 24.  A teaser trailer is expected to break tomorrow. Stay tuned.

[EW, Rolling Stone]

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CHECK OUT MOVIELINE'S GALLERY OF IRON MAN 3 POSTERS

The website also reports that a snippet of that iron-army scene will likely be featured in the trailer that drops next week, which will be the last one before the movie opens on May 3.

Meanwhile, Yahoo! offers this interpretation of the poster.

But what's even more intriguing than the damaged suit he's wearing are the seven he's not. Streaking into the sky behind him are more armored suits, and while we don't get a very clear look at them, they don't appear to be any we've seen in the previous films.

The one directly above Tony's right arm has a grey and gold finish with spiky shoulders. Another directly behind his left shoulder is a bulkier suit with a gold, white and black appearance. Could this be the rumored "Deep Space Suit" fans have been buzzing about? A photo of an upcoming toy was released in late January with that description, which lead some Marvel acolytes to wonder if Tony might take a trip out into the cosmos, perhaps to meet up with the Guardians of the Galaxy, another comic-book team that will be getting their own movie in 2014.

I don't see Rocket Raccoon or Groot, who are both supposed to be part of the GOTG standalone, so I'm skeptical, but what do you think?  Let me know in the comments below.

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[Yahoo!, SlashFilm]

I've included an "After" and "Before" comparison, but the key changes are two: The webslinger's face mask has bigger eyes and the leg-span on his spider chest logo isn't so wide — a look that resembles comic artist Mark Bagley's take on the webslinger during his record-breaking run on Marvel's Ultimate Spider-Man title in the early 2000s. Yeah, I know: not exactly a daring overhaul.

SPIDERMAN'S NEW COSTUME

THE OLD SPIDERMAN COSTUME

What does the new look say about the Spidey brand?  This is definitely wishful thinking on my part, but I choose to interpret it to mean that The Amazing Spider-Man 2 will be more of a visual feast and the "Ultimate" Spider-Man movie. Certainly, a storyline that reportedly will include Electro (Jamie Foxx), the Green Goblin (the most excellent Dane DeHaan) and the Rhino (Paul Giamatti) is promising, but it could also end up being as overstuffed as a Subway BMT sandwich. And that puts me in mind of Sam Raimi's excruciatingly corny Spider-Man 3. At least that movie had a black costume.

Speaking of that last villain, I can't wait until the first shot of Giamatti as the Horned Hot Mess is leaked. Foxx, not so much.  I fear he'll just end up looking like Static Shock, though I guess I'd prefer that  to him wearing a giant cut-out lightning-star on his head. As Count Floyd would say, "Verrry scary, kids!"  Here's the official synopsis:

In "The Amazing Spider-Man 2," for Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield), life is busy -- between taking out the bad guys as Spider-Man and spending time with the person he loves, Gwen (Emma Stone), high school graduation can't come quickly enough. Peter hasn't forgotten about the promise he made to Gwen's father to protect her by staying away -- but that's a promise he just can’t keep. Things will change for Peter when a new villain, Electro (Jamie Foxx), emerges, an old friend, Harry Osborn (Dane DeHaan), returns, and Peter uncovers new clues about his past.

 [ComingSoon.net]

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