Despite the silliness, sexism, and let’s face it, more than a handful of bad movies, James Bond has endured as a franchise for 50 years because deep down inside, all of us, at one time, wanted to be spies, and as anyone living vicariously through the movies knows, a good spy needs a great theme song. For better or for worse, presented below are all 22 James Bond title songs and sequences, ranked in order from worst to best. Get your martinis and Walthers ready, ladies and gentlemen…
22. Quantum of Solace
I’ve got nothing against Jack White or Alicia Keys, but yikes. This sort of mash-up is just not what James Bond is about. The grating production and completely asynchronous arrangement would be irritating as a standalone song: in a Bond film it’s borderline insulting. The visuals aren’t too great either, and look like some sort of digitally upgraded B-roll from The Mummy Returns.
21. Die Another Day
Fans said goodbye to Pierce Brosnan in 2002, and it’s hard to determine exactly how
many films he overstayed his welcome by. Rest assured, however, that Die Another
Day will go down in history as one of the worst Bond films of the modern era, and
the cookie-cutter, auto-tuned, glitchy mess of a title track by Madonna (speaking
of stars who overstayed their welcome…) isn’t going to be fondly remembered any
time soon, either.
20. The World Is Not Enough
It’s hard to tell when performers began hoping a James Bond film would get them
exposure rather than the other way around, but it’s safe to bet that it was well
before Garbage performed the title track to 1999’s The World is Not Enough, since
I imagine the bulk of kids in the theater went “who?” when the phrase “title song
performed by Garbage” flashed across the screen. Still, the song is serviceable, and
the sequence impressively slick.
19. Moonraker
Ugh. Poor Shirley Bassey deserved better than this. After having her name attached
to one certifiably classic and one so-so Bond film, Moonraker had to go and mess
with the program. Clearly the producers insisted that Bassey drop the completely
unmusical phrase “Moonraker” somewhere into the track, and it’s laughably bad. I
would have just turned in a new cut of Goldfinger with the titles swapped out, but that’s why I’m not in charge of such things.
18. For Your Eyes Only
This song and sequence are notable only because they ushered James Bond into
the 1980s with plenty of appropriate glam and glitter, and because Sheena Easton
appeared in the opening sequence. Otherwise there’s not much else to say.
17. The Living Daylights
Remember A-Ha, better known as “that Norwegian band who did Take on Me”? Well, they had another hit song two years after their award-winner: the theme to Timothy Dalton’s on-screen debut as James Bond. It’s a nice synthed-out dance number, perfect for 1980s 007, but the visuals look like the director just turned on the camera, told the naked girls to writhe around, and then went to lunch. A little effort, people! (Bonus factoid: Joe Don Baker appears in this film, many years before his turn as a CIA operative in Goldeneye).
16. Diamonds Are Forever
Shirly Bassey came back for the second of the three Bond movies she ended up
performing title tracks for, and as fate would have it, the quality of the songs
followed the exact same trajectory as the films: steadily downward. Diamonds
are Forever, both film and song, are passable, but the film has the dubious honor
of being a rather mediocre send-off for the most beloved Bond of all. Still, it’s no
Moonraker.
15. You Only Live Twice
By this time, Bond was such a big deal that none other than the daughter of Ol’ Blue
Eyes was performing his opening songs. I wonder if Nancy and Sean Connery ever
knocked boots? A fistfight between 007 and the man with the golden throat would
be something to behold, wouldn’t it? Alas, all we’re left with is a workmanlike ballad
with some vaguely Asian undertones. Not a huge fan of the visuals for this sequence
either, but hey, it was a different era.
14. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
This may be one of the most forgettable Bond films out there (although George
Lazenby did turn in a stunning performance as the lead antagonist in 1975’s The
Man From Hong Kong, which also has a great title song, and the title sequence follows suit. It should be noted, that while not technically a title song, this film did include a great Louie Armstrong number, “We Have All the Time in the World”, one of the more upbeat Bond pop songs to ever grace the series, that lays over one of the most depressing moments in 007’s long and storied career.
13. The Man With the Golden Gun
I hate to dog on poor Roger Moore too much in this article, but the Moore era really
did feature a market uptick in cartoonishness, leaving behind the cool-in-spite-
of-itself camp quality of the Connery films and going for straight out comic book
qualities, like Christopher Lee’s Scaramanga. The title track by Scottish singer Lulu
reflects the new Bond sensibility perfectly, with a soaring rafter-shaker backed by
many a distorted electric guitar. The flick is ho-hum, but Lulu sure has some pipes
(bonus factoid: Lulu appeared on Eurovision, currently well-known as a parade of
hilariously bad eastern European musicians that end up on Youtube for years, back
in 1969!)
12. Casino Royale
In true old-school fashion, it took the Bond franchise until 2006 to give us a proper
'90s theme song. Chris Cornell is uncharacteristically restrained (at least, until the
end) in the gleefully titled “You Know My Name”, and turns in a nicely produced number that dovetails perfectly with the beautiful and crisp gambling-themed visuals, which end in a close-up on the blond, blue-eyed Daniel Craig staring defiantly into the camera. THIS is the New Bond, ladies and gents.
11. A License to Kill
Look, there’s nothing wrong with Timothy Dalton, it’s just that he always strikes
me as a villain, a notion that is not helped by how perfectly he wears a pencil-thin
mustache and the icy cold way he plays Bond (he’s almost a precursor to Daniel
Craig’s style, but I digress). Point is, he’s not my favorite Bond, but damn that title
sequence: what else could one ask for but girls, guns, and a sexy, sassy woman to
bring the house down over the opening credits? Enter: Gladys Knight.
10. Goldeneye
Don’t listen to anybody who says Bono never did anything decent after The Joshua
Tree. The shades-loving frontman, along with longtime bandmate The Edge wrote
the title song to the film that brought James Bond out of the relative dark age of the 1980s (Pierce Brosnan and Tina Turner didn’t do too shabby a job either). This is
the first opening sequence audiences saw in the digital age, and though it’s still a
beautiful piece of cinema now, I remember being blown away when I first laid eyes
on this beauty back in 1995.
9. Octopussy
One of the more recognizable Bond themes that isn’t “Live and Let Die," Rita
Coolidge’s “All Time High” lacks the thin edge of danger usually present in most
Bond openers. The visuals are pretty standard: naked girls lying in strategically
placed shadows, and naked girls being shot out of a pistol. Check and check.
8. The Spy Who Loved Me
Despite Anna Farris’ attempts to the contrary, “Nobody Does It Better” lives on
as one of the better romantic title songs of the Bond franchise. The film itself was
plagued with problems before and during production, and Carly Simon divorced
James Taylor in September of 1981, four years after The Spy Who Loved Me was first released. Cursed? Just think twice before you belt this one out in a semi-crowded
hotel bar.
7. From Russia With Love
The second Bond film demonstrated a clear jump in production value after Dr. No,
featuring a bevy of belly dancers that might produce yawns today, but was sure to
excite and titillate audiences waiting for Bond’s second caper in 1963. What begins
as a fun and light-hearted affair grows dark and sinister by end of the sequence,
letting audiences know that this secret agent means business.
6. Tomorrow Never Dies
A surprising departure from her usual fare, Sheryl Crow delivers a pitch-perfect
impersonation of a smoky-throated chanteuse that would have done the Connery-
era crooners proud. Crow also wins the prize for being the first female artist in Bond
history who wrote her own title song. Who says 007 can’t be progressive?
5. Thunderball
Sean Connery AND Tom Jones? It’s a mystery to me how every woman who saw this
film in 1965 didn’t immediately fall pregnant once they had crossed the auditorium
threshold. The sequence itself is pretty uninspired, and had it been released in
this day and age, would have been decried as an excuse to sell toys (Aqua Bond
Playset!), but Jones’ trademark silky smooth yowl is the perfect complement to
the best Bond’s last great film as the smoothest secret agent to grace the screen.
Bonus: Johnny Cash submitted his own theme song for consideration, but it
was rejected, possibly because the lyrics describe the plot of the movie.
4. Dr. No
The first 007 adventure to hit the theaters featured a very sparing use of visuals,
but there’s something minimalist and cool about the opening credits. No pop star
is present as with later Bond themes, but the iconic 007 overture, performed here
in jazzy, swingin’ sixties London style, defined an era of cheeky coolness that later
began to ape itself. There’s also a weird segue into some calypso music that doesn’t
really gel, but sometimes you have to take what you can get.
3. A View to a Kill
This is, without a doubt, the most fun James Bond theme to karaoke. It may be the
worst of the unimpressive Roger Moore-era (despite starring roles from Grace
Jones, Donna’s mom from That 70s Show, AND Christopher Walken), but goddamn, a Duran Duran James Bond theme? Nothing screams 1985 better than this neon-festooned opening sequence. As an added bonus, this being right around the advent of the music video era, the visuals actually reflect the mood and pacing of the song, forgoing the usual Bond opening sequence formula of “naked girls+shadows+guns”.
Bonus: it’s a great karaoke track.
2. Live and Let Die
Roger Moore officially ushered the James Bond franchise into the 70s, and just as
audiences across the world were given a new 007, Paul McCartney and Wings gave
them a very different opening title sequence, complete with plenty of semi-racist
voodoo imagery. “Live and Let Die” is one of the greatest title tracks of all time
(not really a fair contest with legendary producer George Martin at the helm), and
perhaps the only song that has been covered by both Guns ‘n’ Roses AND Weird Al
Yankovic (the unreleased “Chicken Pot Pie”)!
1. Goldfinger
Goldfinger marks the first appearance of a vocal pop performance in the opening
credits of a Bond film, and man oh man, what a piece! Shirley Bassey’s brassy voice
perfectly introduces us to one of the most instantly recognizable villains in the
history of Bond, and follows what might be the greatest Connery one-liner of all
time. Cheers all around, this sequence, song, and film are about as good as it gets in
the world of 007.
John Jarzemsky is a contributor at LitReactor, Twitch, and can be read semi-regularly at his personal blog, the ineptly named Super Roller Disco Monkey Hullabaloo! or on twitter @jtjarzemsky. He is big in Japan.