1. Movie Ushers Who Let You Sneak Starbucks and Reasonably-Priced Candy Bought From a Second Location Into the Theater (You Know Who You Are)
First off, a genuine moment of appreciation for the real heroes of my more recent moviegoing experiences. Not Martin Scorsese or Taylor Lautner or the audience members who didn't pass out/puke during Human Centipede 2, but the minimum-wage earning theater workers who didn't vehemently protest my outsider latte or Target-procured M&Ms like they were being paid millions to fight a war on third-party concession snacks. Thank you.
For the rest of you uncool ticket takers, why don't you keep an eye out for alcohol-sipping, sunglasses-sporting "moviegoers" carrying double-sided knife-hammers, meat thermometers or any kind of stabbing implement and leave my latte alone.
2. Bill Murray
I am grateful for the one actor who can brighten my day, whether he arrives in an obscure casting announcement, a completely random Harvard marching band performance or any of my favorite movies like Meatballs, Rushmore and Lost in Translation.
3. Outrageous Film-Related Crimes That Miraculously Injure None But Entertain Many
While I don't support underage drinking or Pittsburgh carjackings, there are no news stories I love reading about more than crimes that are ridiculously blamed on films. They are pretty ingenious. Take for example the 21-year-old who tried to carjack a plainclothes police officer near the Dark Knight Rises this August -- and then tried to tell the officer that the carjacking was part of the Batman sequel's script. Amazingly idiotic! Or yesterday's Twi-hard teen who turned to booze after her boyfriend failed to take her to a Breaking Dawn -- Part 1 screening. Someone once said that it takes a fool to entertain the masses (okay, I said that) and these half-brained criminals are my fool of choice.
4. Real-Life Porn Stars and Vampires Who Are Willing to Guest Review Movies
The world really would be a less-informed place if adult film superstar Joanna Angel hadn't explained to Movieline how Bucky Larson: Born To Be a Star presents a surprisingly honest depiction of the porn industry or if real-life vampire Merticus hadn't revealed that vampire sex is indeed as intense as Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart depicted it in this month's The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn -- Part 1.
5. Katherine Heigl's Year-Long Sabbatical
I think I speak for most of you when I say, "Phew!" We really needed a Katherine Heigl break after the nasty one-two punch she delivered last year with Killers and Life as We Know It. You and I only have a few more weeks to enjoy this Heigl-less existence though because the former Grey's Anatomy diva returns to the multiplex for the most grotesque ensemble movie event this year since Human Centipede 2 -- Garry Marshall's New Year's Eve.
What movie-related things are you thankful for?