It's been a while since the critical establishment really, really hated something enough for Movieline to feature a customary "Scathing Responses" round-up. But they have emptied their spleens today for Jack and Jill, the new Adam Sandler "comedy" that our own critic Alison Willmore described as "a film whose star often seems moments away from turning to the camera and yelling 'ARE YOU LAUGHING NOW?'"
But even Alison found glints of redemption in such factors as Al Pacino playing a lovesick send-up of his contemporary screen persona. Other reviewers were not as affected -- thus the bile tsunami ensuing today. Head for the hills!
9. "Jack and Jill is not so much a movie, but a challenge to your soul. Maybe it is designed to make us wonder if there is a God, and if He will save you from this disaster. He won't." -- Willie Waffle, The CW
8. "Directed with the customary lack of effort by Dennis Dugan and slopped over with sticky sentimentality in its final moments to mask its overall meanness, Jack and Jill is so bad that you know the people who made it knew better, but simply didn't care enough to fix it. They're pandering to anyone who ever bought tickets to a Happy Madison production, and by buying into this one, you'd only be encouraging them to get worse. Stop the madness. Avoid this." -- Katey Rich, Cinema Blend
7. "The only message here, meta or otherwise, is this: People who pay to see this kind of movie are dumb suckers, and deserve a movie that treats them as such." -- Jaime N. Christley, Slant Magazine
6. "I'm not even sure this qualifies as a real movie. [...] Farts are farted and balls are scratched, but what's really depressing to witness here is Sandler's complete laziness, failing to secure at least one measly laugh, trashing his once delightfully absurdist self to make a grotesque comedy that doesn't even attempt to sustain a plot, instead brimming with poo-poo and pee-pee jokes. This movie barely has a pulse." -- Brian Orndorf, Blu-ray.com
5. "Jack and Jill is being cynically marketed as a PG-rated 'family' comedy. Personally, I'd be tempted to call child protective services on any parents who dragged their kids to a movie about a guy who is trying to pimp his sister, or an unreasonable facsimile, to Al Pacino." -- Lou Lumenick, NY Post
4. "I can honestly say that I did not laugh one time during Jack and Jill. It's that depressing. But it is also an important movie that every man, woman and child on this Earth should be forced to watch. Forced to see the pain as I saw the pain. Forced to make sure nothing like what we see onscreen with Jack Sadelstein and Jill Sadelstein ever, ever happens again." -- Mike Ryan, Moviefone
3. "It's not like a certain American doughnut chain hasn't ponied up and clearly gets its money's worth, culminating in a faux ad for a new coffee drink that riffs on Pacino's name. 'Burn it!' Pacino hollers when he sees the results. If only he'd said that at the start of the picture." -- Linda Barnard, Toronto Star
2. "More than 24 hours has passed since I watched the new Adam Sandler movie Jack and Jill and I am still dead inside. It made me feel as if comedy itself were a dirty thing, mainly practiced by people eager to express ugly feelings toward everyone from homely women to Mexican immigrants. I can't definitively say that this is the worst Adam Sandler movie ever made, having missed last summer's Grown Ups, but it is certainly the worst I have ever seen." -- Mary Pols, Time
1. "Mr. Sandler's subtly self-lacerating performance in Judd Apatow's Funny People suggests that he is aware of the hollow, hateful side of what he does for a living. Grown Ups and Jack and Jill prove that, as long as it pays the bills, he doesn't care. [...] I have always been interested in what he would do next, and I suppose I still am, especially if what he does next is retire." -- A.O. Scott, The New York Times
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