I'm still waiting for anyone from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences to bother replying to my request for comment about yesterday's Brett Ratner "rehearsing is for fags" imbroglio, but AMPAS president Tom Sherak has officially weighed in on the controversy: "He knew it was wrong and he issued that response as quickly as any human being ever has. The bottom line is, this won't and can't happen again. It will not happen again." So much for the #RatnerFreeOscars; it was nice to imagine while it lasted.
Specifically, some of our Twitter followers' replacement producer suggestions were fantastic:
Baz Luhrmann! RT @Movieline: Anyone have alternative Oscar-producer suggestions? #RatnerFreeOscars
Uwe Boll? RT @Movieline Anyone have alternative Oscar-producer suggestions? #RatnerFreeOscars
David Lynch. RT @Movieline: Anyone have alternative Oscar-producer suggestions? #RatnerFreeOscars
Bela Tarr! RT @Movieline: Anyone have alternative Oscar-producer suggestions? #RatnerFreeOscars
@Movieline Tarantino. The women who either won or presented would have to be barefoot.
Tommy Wiseau. RT @Movieline: Anyone have alternative Oscar-producer suggestions? #RatnerFreeOscars
@Movieline. Michael Bay, he's used to displeasing critics & if your speech goes long: BOOM!! Explosive podiums!
Superb work, all. Now on to damage control for the Oscarcast's embattled host, who this week faces such charming headlines as: "Tower Heist: Is Eddie Murphy's tank finally on empty?" It's gonna be a long season.