Drive Faces Dumbest Lawsuit Ever, and 5 Other Stories You'll Be Talking About Today

Happy Monday! Also in today's edition of The Broadsheet: A Pixar alum gets the closest of close reads... Tortured Oscar logic... Awesomely ridiculous new reality stars... The $24 million Korean humanist marathoner WWII film you have (or haven't) been waiting for... and more.

· Reportedly some idiot woman outside Detroit is actually suing distributor FilmDistrict for misleading her into watching Drive. Apparently Sarah Deming of Keego Harbor, Mich., saw the trailer and expected something "very similar to the Fast and Furious, or similar, series of movies." Instead, she alleges, she got mood-driven splatter and even "extreme gratuitous defamatory dehumanizing racism directed against members of the Jewish faith." What? But for that last part I'd have just chalked all this up to another stroke of genius by FilmDistrict boss and marketing wizard Bob Berney. Anyway, feel free to go back to bed; the day isn't going to get any better. [WDIV via MCN]

· It's currently behind the paywall, but this week's New Yorker profile of Oscar-winning Pixar director Andrew Stanton's transition to live-action for John Carter is endlessly interesting reading. [The New Yorker]

· "Will Marilyn Monroe Finally Win An Oscar Nod If Michelle Williams Does?" Huh? Anyway, just throwing it out there. [Deadline]

· Speaking of redoutable, immutable logic, let headhunter Stephen Viscusi breaks down the philosophy guiding his new A&E reality series The Job Whisperer: "If this person that you just saw on TV can get a job, get off your ass and get a job, too." Sigh. [NY Post]

· I'm not sure the world is quite ready for a "humanist" movie about Korean and Japanese marathoners who take a detour into WWII to fight for Japan and the Soviet Union and eventually, as prisoners of war, Germany. On the other hand, the director promises "visual effects that haven't been seen before in a war movie," so hey. Can't wait? [THR]

· "Can I get cancer from oral sex?" Guys in particular might want to brace themselves before checking out this helpful, terrifying infograph. [The Daily Beast]