In celebration of Brad Pitt's box office triumph in Moneyball, I say we formalize Tyler Durden's age-old battle of great hair with doppelganger Robert Redford. Join us as we pit the Spy Game duo's five most comparable hairstyles against each other -- and settle this winsome war once and for all.
(Clarification: I picked photos that represent the best of each style. Yes, Brad has had messier "messy" 'dos, but I picked the most photogenic version.)
Blond power cleft
Oh, Brad. Bobby mastered this before you born. Redford's The Way We Were/All the President's Men clefts should be stored in the Smithsonian, while Brad's half-assed, scorch-yellow cleft should be stuffed in a Nick Carter superfan vault. Woodward and Bernstein won't be busting that wide open any time soon. Winner: Redford
Womanly Tresses
Such a difficult category. Here you have Rob Redz in Three Days of the Condor sporting Martina Navratilova's entire face, and Pitt waiting to audition for Jane Fonda's role in a gender-neutral remake of Klute. For commitment to ladylike angst, I have to side with Redz - but it's a 7-5, 6-4 sort of victory. Brad, that makes you a formidable, but ultimately less heroic Chris Evert. Winner: Redford
Simply Messy
It's not my fault Robert Redford has spent the past five years trying to compete in this category, a favorite of Brad's. Redz is certainly a fetching 75-year-old, but he's basically playing tackle football against a Varsity lineman here. Brad won't even get grime on his letterman jacket. Winner: Brad
Mad Men Chic
Redz built a career on follicular cleanliness, but I'm surprised to see that Brad wins this category in a landslide. He does spruced-up aloofness so well, you know? Redz is cute with his Gatsby crest, but his forehead and hairline lack magic. Winner: Brad
Mustache
This is where it all falls apart for the Kalifornia Kid: He never gets facial hair right. It doesn't look right on the red carpet, in Inglourious Basterds, and especially when perched upon Pitt's oft-rehashed billy goat beard. Meanwhile, the Sundance Kid achieves glamor with his 'stache, even if his thespian qualities are downright inferior to Paul Newman's. This saga is over. Winner: Redford