About once a year we hear something new about the Ouija movie, which, as far as I can tell, is the first movie based on a "game" where there isn't a winner. It's not a game, actually. It's cardboard. It's a flattened cereal box with the decoder ring taped to the outside. Since you're surely intrigued by this inanimate slab's transformation into a "supernatural action-adventure movie" and the news that Mr. and Mrs. Smith scribe Simon Kinberg was hired to polish it, let's take a couple of cracks at the plot.
1. A man see a haunting message on his Ouija game and tries burying it in the backyard, but his dog keeps stealing his master's chair and replacing it with the board. That Marmaduke!
2. After almost 40 years, Regan (Linda Blair) reunites with her childhood Ouija board and grizzled old devil friend Captain Howdy. Since his halcyon days, Howdy has fallen on hard times, and Regan -- now a journalist -- pledges to write his story, tell the world about his ingenious new song "The Weary Kind," and try not to fall in love with him. Fortunately, the lonely journo's Ouija board spells romance for the unlikely pair, and they trot off in satanic bliss. Max von Sydow plays a saloon proprietor.
3. Jumanji, but with perverted yes-or-no questions for grownup Kristen Dunst.
4. Candy Land, but with Ouija-placed concerns about Lord Licorice's sexual orientation.
5. Three kids sit around a mystical old gameboard, and after manipulating its magnifying glass and reading some foreboding messages, they realize that movies based on board games will be around for years to come. The kids kill themselves.