1. Prince Eric hands out fliers to a rave in Palm Springs.
2. Video plays of Jasmine and Belle drawing crude pictures of fish genitalia on Ariel's favorite rock.
3. The ghost of Walt Disney sweeps down in a 3-D IMAX spectacle and reveals all the anti-Semitism hidden in the movie.
4. A tidal wave crashes on the traincar. A cynical, much older Sebastian appears in a hologram and coughs, "It's better down where it's wetter" before hitting on an underage passenger.
5. Anyone caught singing on the ride is tied to a plank and publicly flogged.
6. Jodi Benson stands at the end of the track and tells riders, "I'm contractually obligated to stand here."
7. Ride operators serve flounder sandwiches.
8. In tribute to Geraldine Page's performance in Interiors, Ariel rips off her fin, jogs into the ocean, and perishes.
9. Riders must use their electronic rayguns to shoot down the phallic palace, which blocks the last leg of track. As the traumatized riders leave the car, they can continue to shoot the downtrodden, horny animator responsible for the penis art, since Disney has bound and gagged him with Ursula bedsheets on the exit path.
Disney unveils 'Little Mermaid' ride [Variety]