Every once in awhile a film comes along that rouses Academy voters, captures the hearts of theatergoers, and finds a place in the immense, lush tapestry of great cinema. Shark Night 3D, please prepare to be the first Jaws ripoff (or movie, for that matter) to win the Thalberg.
And now, I will name the great things about this trailer.
1. I started cackling as soon as the hapless supporting character mentioned "a lake house," "Lake Crosby," and "Sarah Cawski's house." What could go wrong? Teens love lake houses!
2. The ensuing segue featured a chest-bump and girls dancing in tanktops. Three Oscars from me.
3. The tag "The Ultimate Summer Vacation." You know you're entering Cabin Fever territory here, but I still love the ham-handedness of it. I wonder if there will be GIRLS!!
4. Teen girlfriends casually going topless as they head outdoors. I am now stealing Oscars from old winners and giving them to the cast of Shark Night 3D. Think fast, Brenda Fricker!
5. The amazing water-skiing tricks. I am clutching my forehead and weeping on this keyboard. I am having a good time.
6. All the shark stuff. Guys, head to the island and stay there. I'm telling you the shark won't find you on the terra firma -- unless Chevy Chase is inside the shark suit, which is definitely possible.
7. The title card that reads "From one of the producers of Texas Chainsaw Massacre." What were the others doing? Besides warning neighbors about the shark in their backyard lake? I can't stop crying. I can't stop loving. I can't stop living my life like it's golden. Finest trailer ever.
Verdict: Flawless.