Summer doesn't officially start for another six weeks, but it arrives at the multiplex this weekend with the release of Thor. While that obvious blockbuster has been on the receiving end of some strong reviews, the same cannot be said for Something Borrowed, the first rom-com of the season. Rocking a 12 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes (and dropping), seeing Borrowed will apparently make you blue. (Nyuck.) Ahead, the 9 most scathing reviews of Something Borrowed.
9. "Something Borrowed asks the question, 'Is it possible to pull off a romantic comedy in which you don't want anyone to end up with anyone else?' The answer is, 'No.'" -- Chris Hewitt, St. Paul Pioneer Press
8. "[W]hy did this movie leave such a rotten taste in my mouth? Because its story, based on Emily Giffin's popular novel, is a pretty repellent view of women's friendship." -- Moira Macdonald, Seattle Times
7. "[T]he film's fundamental flaw [...] is that its beautiful-people characters are the kind that exist only in the minds of Hollywood hacks. How many times must we be subjected to another gorgeous, glamorous starlet impersonating a clumsy wallflower? Will anyone really believe in this GQ-perfect big man on campus who lacks the courage to ask her out on a date? And as for their friends, these martini-swilling, Hamptons-vacationing, superficial hedonists, are they really living the life we all envy? Please, moviegoers, please: Say it ain't so." -- Kerry Lengel, The Arizona Republic
6. "Now to Kate Hudson. She plays an alcoholic. This is as clear as day, although I'll bet you won't see her described that way in many other reviews. Among the danger signals of alcoholism must certainly be playing badminton on the beach with a glass of wine in your hand, sitting down in a bar and ordering six shots of tequila, and drinking in every scene where she is not literally being fitted for a wedding dress. If you are marrying an alcoholic and are not one yourself, you shouldn't do it to cheer up your mom." -- Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times
5. "It drags on forever -- forever -- and the final scene will have you shaking your head and wondering why the filmmakers would want you to invest nearly two hours of your life with these people." -- Richard Roeper, RichardRoeper.com
4. "The director, Luke Greenfield, concocts a pulse-less preppy New York and, for comedy, tosses in clips of Fatal Attraction, as if a remake were in the offing. At some point John Krasinski's character, who's like the gay friend, the wacky neighbor, the best gal pal, and Ralph Bellamy (all with Karl Malden's nose), remarks that the Hamptons are 'like a zombie movie directed by Ralph Lauren.'' The rest of Something Borrowed is like a Ralph Lauren movie directed by a zombie." -- Wesley Morris, Boston Globe
3. "Are people in movies supposed to be interesting? This is not a rhetorical question but rather an expression of genuine puzzlement occasioned by Something Borrowed, a well-meaning comedy of marriage that seems ardently committed to the blandness of its characters. The principal would-be couple (one of whom is engaged to someone else) consists of Dex (Colin Egglesfield) and Rachel (Ginnifer Goodwin). They are pleasant and nice looking and utterly without distinguishing features. Watching them flirt and kiss and bicker is like witnessing the passionate romance between a canned Bartlett pear and a cube of tofu -- a handsomely chiseled cube of tofu, to be sure, and a perfectly sweet pear, but still." -- A.O. Scott, New York Times
2. "As horrific as Something Borrowed is, it's compelling in its own sick way. Watching it, I kept wondering: How will this dreadful group of self-centered people work out their asinine problems, most of which have been caused by their own willful stupidity and/or their inability to read the most basic emotions of the people around them? Hardly romantic and barely a comedy, Something Borrowed hovers in that damp gray region of movies that are often characterized as "cute," though it has barely enough character to stand up even to that bland adjective." -- Stephanie Zacharek, Movieline
1. "Let's hope that those craving matrimonial entertainment got their quota from last Friday's William and Kate Show. Otherwise they might fall prey to Something Borrowed, an expectation-crushing offering that falls far short of rom-com industry best practices. I can't imagine an audience for this other than backers, relatives or friends of the filmmakers, and even they will find their mettle tested." -- Colin Covert, Minneapolis Star-Tribune