Oh, no. One of the seven remaining American Idol contestants was booted from the karaoke pizza party last night. (P.S., I wish this show was called Karaoke Pizza Party). Who was ousted? Was it Jacob Lusk and his stanky stank? Haley Reinhart and her not-quite-focused stare? Stefano Langone and his fine tees? Or did a surprise candidate sneak up and fall on his sword? Join us for the memorial.
After Seacrest announced a bottom three that included Haley Reinhart, Jacob Lusk, and Stefano Langone, the big loser was... Stefano Langone.
Legacy: Stefano was season ten's fist-thumping televangelist, the teary-eyed balladeer whose pain comes from realizing suddenly that Lionel Richie's "Hello" is embarrassing. He leaves behind a trail of boo-hooey hits, including selections from the Boyz II Men and Percy Sledge catalogs. He worked best when he stuck to current stars like Bruno Mars and Ne-Yo, but I don't know if the veins on his arms, neck, and face could take all of that passion again. But I could. (Bites finger.)
We Will Miss Most: His "love/hate relationship" with Haley Reinhart, his mysterious choice of Simply Red's "If You Don't Know Me By Now" cover during Year You Were Born Week, his "goatee" (four streaks of a mechanical pencil), and the way he sometimes seemed shirtless if you stared hard enough.
What Could've Been: A hyperventilating cover of "I Feel the Earth Move" during the upcoming Carole King week, a weepy cover of "Here You Come Again" during country/crying clown week, and suspiciously tighter and tighter clothes as the final month progresses.
Closing Words: Stefano, I rooted for your R&B angst from the start. You seemed more alive onstage than Lauren, Casey, Jacob, and Scotty, and that's not just because they're completely self-satisfied. It's because you were a pretty decent Idol contestant, and one who looked especially hilarious every time you ended up the Bottom Two. Can't wait for your trio with Mike Posner and Pagliacci during the finale.