Who can blame Taylor Lautner for capitalizing on his hard-earned Twilight fandom (those abs don't crunch themselves) by launching a teen-friendly action hero career? Marvel as the erstwhile Jacob Black enters Bourne territory, complete with romance, parkour, and existential identity confusion, in the first trailer for Lionsgate's teen action pic Abduction, directed by John Singleton.
It all begins with a voice-over. "Sometimes I feel different," reveals a serious-faced Lautner as scenes from his seemingly normal high school existence flash across the screen. "I walk around like everyone else, but inside I just feel like I'm a stranger in my own life." Singleton boils it all down to its essence from the start of the trailer -- a hero shot that swirls around Lautner, instantly establishing him as the center of the known universe. Tres Michael Bay!
Behold: Lautner on a motorcycle. Lautner in a wrestling match. Lautner furrowing his brows as he stares at a family photo. Something isn't right - his parents aren't really his parents! We learn as much from a winsome classmate (future Snow White Lily Collins), who has fortuitously (and creepily, I might add) stumbled across Lautner's picture on a website that age-accelerates photos of missing children.
And then, action! Mama Maria Bello answers the doorbell, and karate ensues! Then, it seems, mom and dad-killing ensues. (Spoiler alert?) Fast forward to more action, shooting, plot details (the government's after Tay-Tay because he's a "high-valued asset" -- somewhere, a Summit exec nods in agreement), awesomely cheesy lines ("What's my real name!?" "Who ARE these people!?"), kissing (which makes up for the lack of abs on display), Sigourney Weaver hiding hilariously behind a bunch of balloons, and some impressive-looking parkour in the Pittsburgh Pirates' PNC Park. And to wrap it all up, we've got people running from giant explosions. How did this all fit into two and a half minutes?
Verdict: It's The Bourne Identity meets I Know My First Name is Steven. I'm so there.