The Olsen twins were busy making ironic kerchiefs out of hundred-dollar bills, so the new teen romp Monte Carlo is forced to star Selena Gomez, Katie Cassidy, Leighton Meester, and Cory Monte(carlo)ith. Let's take a glamorous trip to Paris!
Who knew movies like this were made anymore? Why isn't it just called Winning Paris? And who knew mid-20somethings Katie Cassidy and Leighton Meester were game to topline this kind of stuff? Those two represent the finest in post-elementary school melodrama, and Monte Carlo's obviously middling summer fare for kids. I'm confused. Ah, wait: Nicole Kidman is an executive producer. That's a big deal. I'd shut up and dance on the Champs-Élysées too.
Of course, this script used to be something much different. Originally, the story centered on middle-aged women (Kidman was set to play a leading role) who go to Paris and meet a quartet of gigolos posing as wealthy playboys. That might've been too interesting, so I'm glad the movie found its true potential as a bizarre time capsule of '90s Disney Channel cinema. So strange. At any rate: Andie MacDowell's in this! I'm always hoping she'll gain back the Francophile cred she forfeited in Green Card.
Verdict: Paris is burning with shame.