Since the judges saved Casey Abrams and his un-musical growls last week, American Idol was forced to eliminate two contestants during the results show on Thursday night. Oh, the terror. Who got the boot? Was it Paul McDonald and his jaunty floral suit? Was it Stefano Langone and his televangelist stage actions? Or was it Lauren Alaina, Thia Megia, James Durbin, or our flawless breakdancing orchid Naima Adedapo?
Thia Megia
Legacy: She was a girl who sang ballads. And "Heat Wave" once. Aw.
We Will Miss Most: Her niceness.
What Could've Been: More ballads; some dance ballad during Dance Week; smiles.
Closing Words: Thia, good job. Next.
Naima Adedapo
Legacy: Immortality. Command. Prestige. Neon yellow pseudo-kimonos. Reggae breaks in Rihanna songs. Reggae breakdowns in real life. An overstanding of Rasta flair. A Martha & the Vandellas cover that sent the whole world into a street-dancing fit. A fabricated Jamaican accent that sounded like Sean Paul's hard-up-for-cash cousin. The Queen of Quasi-Kingston! The Tsarina of toilet scrubbing! Of course she cleaned up in the style department -- she's The Janitrix!
We Will Miss Most: The waterfall of dreadlocks that leads to her CapriSun reservoir of soul. The way she said, "Boom, fire," whenever finishing a dance track, a ballad, or a sentence. That kickass version of "Put Your Records On" (paradox) during the preliminary rounds. The high-kick after her audition. The most amazing Top 24 dance in American Idol history. Go, spinning-cyan-Chinese-kite lady! Go, go, go!
What Could've Been: Subtle evolutions in theatrics, like roller skates and an oversize polyester suit for Disco Week. Or fire-swallowing. Or lightning-swallowing. During Broadway week, she'd rap the entire songlist of Aida in quintuple-time. During Movie Week, she'd be carried onstage in a bobsled before acting out three scenes from Cool Runnings. During Rock Week, she'd perform "Redemption Song" in a kiddy pool filled with coconut milk. Sigh!
Closing Words: What, are we supposed to look to Scotty McCreery for pouty, unhinged theater now? He's the kind of crazy that will kill you in the tall grass on a Sunday afternoon in Kansas. Naima's the kind of crazy that will sew you a 15-foot Kabuki gown for you and your family to live in. I could use that warmth about now! Miss you, girl.