Let's face it: There's probably little chance that a remake of Robocop will be as good as Paul Verhoeven's original. As far as action movies go, his hilarious, violent and subversive take on mechanized crime fighting still stands as an apex of the genre, and even if the remake turns out to be acceptable, there's no way it will capture the manic energy of the original. Well... almost no way.
Since Hollywood is going ahead with this thing anyway, I humbly suggest that they put Tak Sakaguchi and Yûdai Yamaguchi in the director's chairs. No, I haven't seen a single movie they have directed; and yes, I realize that they aren't exactly the type of big names studios are hiring for tentpole projects these days. But! In their defense, they've already made a rip-off of Robocop, and more to point, that particular movie looks totally insane. Let's take a look at the NSFW trailer for Yakuza Weapon and then reconvene.
In case your mind was too blown to process all of that, let me give a quick recap of a few credentials that Sakaguchi and Yamaguchi offer in the preview alone.
· A sly sense of humor
That scene where the man makes machine gun motions with his hands while a helicopter behind him takes a guy out would probably make Verhoeven smile.
· A bizzare sense of humor
Did anybody else notice that split second shot of an evil Yakuza boss laughing maniacally while holding a sex toy? Just me?
· A refusal to be bound by budget constraints
Sure, the effects are a little cheesy, but judging by the visual style here, the budget wasn't huge either. Give these guys a little bit more money and we'll probably get to see half-robot action that we've never dreamed of.
· Wild innovation in the field of mechanized body-weapons
Not only does the protagonists arm turn into a Gatling gun in the blink of an eye, but he somehow shoots rockets out of his knees. Name one big-name director in the last 30-years who would have thought of a knee-rocket launcher.
· A sex-doll that turns into a machine gun.
I suppose that belongs in the last category, but I felt like it deserved a stand-alone mention.
Will Sakaguchi and Yamaguchi's version be as clever and subversive as Verhoeven's? Probably not. But if this project must happen, hiring Sakaguchi might make the remake worthwhile in its own way. And at least it won't be boring.
Kudos to Filmdrunk and Topless Robot for posting this trailer.