In between fielding questions about Natalie Portman's thong bikini in Your Highness, director David Gordon Green confirmed that he hopes to remake Dario Argento's horror classic Suspiria next. As someone who really likes horror movies, I'm usually somewhere between disheartened and furious each time Hollywood announces a remake of another one of my favorite '70s films. But a remake of Suspiria actually has real potential. Here's why.
1. There are no preconceived expectations to live up to.
Unlike The Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Halloween, Suspiria doesn't really come with a set of iconic characters and images that Green will have to recapture for the masses. Really, only horror buffs and cinephiles are going to be familiar with the source material, and the original film is mostly celebrated for its style. Green would be a fool to try and one-up Argento in that area, so hopefully, he can beef up some of the other components of the film, like the script. Which brings me to...
2. The original is really stupid.
I love the stylish colors, insane murders and creepy atmosphere of Argento's classic, but it is a dumb movie. It's not even dumb in the singular, off-the-wall way of some of the director's other films. For example, in Phenomena, the fact that Jennifer Connelly has a psychic connection to bugs pretty much renders any other plot holes moot. Suspiria is more frustrating.
It builds the mystery well at first -- with atmospheric dread and horrific murders getting equal screen time -- and then (spoilers) throws almost all of it away during one out-of-nowhere conversation where some old guy with a book on witchcraft explains everything to the heroine. Argento's sense of visuals and style still propel the film to a scary climax (although the way the head witch gets vanquished is a bit of a letdown, too), but from this ridiculous scene on, the film never regains its original momentum.
Argento was never celebrated for his masterful plotting, but the lazy devices used to explain plot points in this one trump the irrationality of almost all of his other classics. I think there are more examples of silly story development, but I honestly can never remember the plot and explanation for the movie... and I've seen it more than three times.
3. The concept is full of potential.
I may change my tune once witches actually become the new vampires, but right now I'd be happy to see any movie about an all girls ballet school run by an evil coven, even if it's a remake. If Green can take this concept and give it the story treatment it deserves, we'll be in for a fun ride.
4. David Gordon Green is versatile.
It'd be great to have this film tackled by a director who possesses a love and understanding of both art films and genre-films. Between his stoner comedy/'80s action hybrid and American Neo-Realist critical darlings, David Gordon Green has proven his fondness and skill with multiple genres and tones. And his little-seen Undertow actually shows that he's willing to merge arthouse sensibilities with exploitation, which could make for a very interesting take on Suspiria. Plus, judging from the trailer for Your Highness, he's not afraid to take chances. For better or worse.