It's clear that here at Movieline, we care about singing competitions. They're intrinsically cinematic: full of the magnetic characters, rising action, and glory moments that define the best in movies. Well, here comes a perilous twist: Jessica Simpson might join Simon Cowell and L.A. Reid as a judge on the U.S. X-Factor. Danger! Let's rank her among the 50 best lady candidates for the job and see how she fares against our fantasy draft that includes Madonna, Cheryl Cole, Paula Abdul, Courtney Love, and -- thanks to one lame rumor -- Taylor Momsen.
Jessica is 33rd on my fantasy list of candidates, way below the likes of Shania Twain and Courtney Love, but well above Leighton Meester and Leona Lewis. So that's something! Keep in mind these rankings are based only on each candidate's fit for the job, not the quality of anyone's artistry. (Please, PJ Harvey would obviously score higher than Mandy Moore, in that case.)
50. Taylor Momsen
49. The Veronicas (in one chair)
48. Jordin Sparks
47. Beth Ditto
46. Aubrey O'Day
45. Leighton Meester
44. Brandy
43. Leona Lewis
42. Carrie Underwood
41. Dionne Warwick
40. Olivia Newton-John
39. Shirley Manson
38. PJ Harvey
37. Alanis Morissette
36. Sheryl Crow
35. Stevie Nicks
34. Dannii Minogue
33. Jessica Simpson
32. Carly Simon
31. Mandy Moore
30. Any Spice Girl
29. Avril Lavigne
28. Christina Aguilera (She'd have been too bland anyway.)
27. Katy Perry
26. Miley Cyrus
25. Britney Spears
24. Cheryl Cole
23. Carole King
22. Whitney Houston
21. Patti Smith
20. target="_blank">Nicole Scherzinger (She has experience.)
19. Amy Winehouse
18. Kelly Clarkson
17. Robyn
16. Chrissie Hynde (a one-time music critic)
15. Linda Ronstadt (So salty nowadays!)
14. Janet Jackson
13. Gwen Stefani
12. Rihanna
11. Ke$ha
10. Paula Abdul
9. Kylie Minogue
8. Shania Twain
7. Cathy Dennis (Go, Britpop!)
6. Barbra Streisand
5. Shakira
4. Lady Gaga
3. Mariah Carey (Ugh, so close!)
2. Madonna
1. Courtney Love (Hold out hope!)
ยท Jessica Simpson in Talks for 'X-Factor' Spot [Zap2It]