Oh, dear. It seems that you decided to ignore popular opinion and spent your hard-earned money on Sucker Punch over the weekend (or, more likely, it seems that you didn't). Are you mad? Do you feel betrayed? Do you need somewhere to vent your frustration? Hey, maybe you liked Sucker Punch and want to vehemently defend its merits? Well, great! Let's talk about it! I promise, your friends at Movieline won't let the steam powered World War I-era German zombie soldiers hurt you.
Obviously, you've entered a spoiler-filled zone, so if your intention is to still see Sucker Punch, this probably isn't the place for you. But you're welcome to stay! Just don't complain, because you've been warned. So, then, for the rest of us:
· Was there any rational story in this movie whatsoever? I'm all for alternate realities, but not when we're told upfront, "Yep, this is a dream sequence and there are no stakes... at all." Which leads to another question...
· For all of the eye candy on screen, why was this movie just so... dull?
· In the first few minutes of the film -- when a shadowy looking Jon Hamm shows up to give Babydoll a lobotomy, only to have the scene immediately cut to some sort of stage play in a nightclub -- was your first thought, "Oh, I see, she just had a lobotomy. Oh, good, the next two hours are going to be a fantasy sequence"? Followed by -- after she retrieves the map (in her quest for the map, fire, knife, key and herself) -- "Oh, god, I really have to sit through four more of these?"
· Should Snyder have made the lobotomy part of Sucker Punch a shocking reveal at the end? Think about that for a second: The movie is exactly the same, only it's less transparent that everything presented on screen is in the wild imagination of a young girl. Maybe Babydoll does have the power to transfix people with her dancing while she enters another reality! Without knowing all along that these are just the thoughts of a girl strapped to a chair who is about to be lobotomized, wouldn't that give the action sequences some much needed gravitas? (Yes, if you're wondering, I do feel like I'm stretching right now by pretending there was really any way to salvage this film.)
· The ending. So, let me get this straight: a lobotomy is performed on Babydoll by Jon Hamm, with Dr. Gorski (Carla Gugino) in the room, even though both of them are against doing the procedure? And Gorski is well aware that Babydoll is having the procedure done and is well aware that she didn't approve of the procedure. Wait, what? Wouldn't Gorski have spoken up? Maybe asked Jon Hamm, "Who approved this? Me? Um, no, I didn't." Yes, this movie has a ton of problems, but a forged doctor's signature? When that same doctor is in the room for the procedure? Come on, Zack Snyder, get in the game.
· Even if you hated Sucker Punch, were there any redeeming qualities? For instance, I liked some of the music. See! That wasn't so hard! It almost feels therapeutic.
· Did you like Sucker Punch? There's nothing wrong with that! Let us know why, though.
· I am not a woman, so I find it hard to comment about whether this movie is empowering for women or not (even though I kinda did comment). A case could be made that a male calling out Snyder for feeling that this movie is empowering for women is just as bad as Snyder (who is also not a woman) thinking that in the first place. So, if any members of our female readership would like to chime in on this, we would love to hear from you.
· If you didn't see Sucker Punch, why did you stay away? Did you have any interest before the reviews flooded the Internet on Thursday and Friday?
· And the big question: Are you now worried about what Zack Snyder is doing with his version of Superman?