So Zack Snyder's unhinged, geek fantasy Sucker Punch hits theaters today, and to be fair, the often polarizing director has found a few supporters. Andrew O'Hehir's gleeful musings on the "stupid brilliance" of the film are almost enough to make you curious, and Marshall Fine somehow manages to compare Snyder to Brian DePalma and the film to Brazil. But most critics' opinions of the film (Currently at 26 percent on Rotten Tomatoes) fell more in line with Elvis Mitchell's pan. And those who hated it really let the vitriol flow. For proof, just check out the nine most scathing responses to the film.
9. "An unerotic unthrilling erotic thriller in the video game mold, Sucker Punch is Last Airbender with bustiers." -- Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel
8. "It's so bad that the Director's Guild should revoke Snyder's membership and he should never be allowed to direct again." -- Beth Accomando, KPBS
7. "Sucker Punch is a scorched-earth PG-13 epic, making any possible return to these heights of excess utterly distasteful to financiers and visionaries alike, while failing every opportunity to deliver the sexy, bloody payload promised by the film's very existence: girls in fetish outfits, kicking ass and taking names." -- Jaime N. Christley, Slant Magazine
6. "... A barrage of green-screen effects and comic-book portentousness from 300 and Watchmen director Zack Snyder, is hands-down the most nightmarishly awful film of the year." -- Steven Rea, The Philadelphia Inquirer
5. "The film abdicates so many basic responsibilities of coherent storytelling, even coherent stupid-action-movie storytelling, director/co-writer/co-producer Zack Snyder must have known in pre-production that his greasy collection of near-rape fantasies and violent revenge scenarios disguised as a female-empowerment fairy tale wasn't going to satisfy anyone but himself." -- Michael Phillips, The Chicago Tribune
4. "You could go to see Sucker Punch this weekend -- a lot of people probably will, and a few may even admit as much back at the office on Monday -- or you could try to make it yourself, which might be more fun, though not necessarily cheaper. Here's what you will need: a bunch of video-game platforms; DVDs of Shutter Island, Kill Bill, Burlesque and Shrek; some back issues of Maxim; a large bag of crystal meth; and around $100 million." -- A.O. Scott, The New York Times
3. "... Ruled by so much concrete-brain idiocy and coarsely "mythic" cliches... and ludicrous, charmless, bottom-of-the-pit dialogue and cheaply pandering female-revenge fantasies that you literally CAN'T STAND IT and WANT TO HOWL and THROW YOUR 24 OZ. COKE AT THE SCREEN." -- Jeffery Wells, Hollywood Elsewhere
2. "Sucker Punch is not one of the worst movies of the year, it's three of the worst slapped together on a single reel." -- Josh Tyler, Cinema Blend
1. "Like his porcelain heroine, anyone who willingly spends $13 for a ticket to this smut is willfully lobotomizing themselves. No matter how bad you are expecting this film to be, 'you will be unprepared.'" -- Leslie Stonebraker, The New York Press