In Memoriam: American Idol's Newest (And Most Controversial) Eliminated Contestant

We gather here at the Kara DioGuardi Memorial Arboretum to bury Idol's newest eliminated contestant. Who took 11th place and therefore didn't make the tour? Was it Lauren Alaina, who straightened her hair but not her performance posture? Was it Stefano Langone, whose 8th grade history class taught him nothing about Lionel Richie's "Hello"? Or was it Paul McDonald? Thia Megia? Naima Adedapo? Our last-ranked troubadour this week, Casey Abrams? The answer will kill you.

The bottom three consisted of Thia Megia, Stefano Langone, and Casey Abrams. The bottom two consisted of Stefano Langone and Casey Abrams. And in another week of apt voting, America gave Casey Abrams the least amount of votes. Except then, during his growl-y performance of "I Don't Need No Doctor," the judges interrupted and saved him.

No one was eliminated this week. All 11 contestants return, two will be eliminated next week, and all 11 will make the summer tour. Joy and boredom!

Well. Since we have no one to mourn, I figure we should use this time to guess how the rest of the competition will pan out. Here are my hypothetical rankings for the rest of the season -- based not on quality, justice, or the high-kicks of one gorgeous Rasta warrior named Naima, but on how I think the votes will go.

10. (Tie) Stefano Langone

10. (Tie) Haley Reinhart

9. Thia Megia

8. Naima Adedapo

7. Casey Abrams

6. Jacob Lusk

5. James Durbin

4. Lauren Alaina

3. Scotty McCreery

2. Paul McDonald

1. Pia Toscano

Fair? What do you think? Meanwhile: How weird would a Pia/Paul final be? I sense that America is hip to Paul's "offbeat" skinny-panted antics and seems to love his sigh-y non-singing. And how enraged will I be if Naima doesn't crack the Top 5? Work with me, people!