The latest plot details about Transformers: Dark of the Moon come not from a children's book, but from a synopsis on the Random House website for a 400-page novel based on the film. Unfortunately (or perhaps fittingly?), this synopsis may be one of the most vague, lifeless paragraphs ever written. But let's have a little fun anyway! With a tip of the hat to William S. Burroughs, I've rearranged all of the clauses into several different and equally meaningless alternate synopses. Read through and see if you can spot the real synopsis amid the impostors.
A.
ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN...
Who knows what remains in the shadows, hidden from man and machine? Only a handful knew the real mission behind America's triumph in space, yet now the treacherous Decepticons have set their sights on unearthing government secrets. All humankind was watching that fateful day in 1969 -- But the only hope of averting a crisis rests on the Autobots.
B.
The Decepticons Autobots yet only ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN behind the America's triumph. That fateful day REMAINS IN THE SHADOWS. Treacherous. All humankind, hidden from averting a crisis, have set their sights on 1969 -- Now man and machine rests on the only hope of unearthing government secrets. Only a handful knew the real mission was watching behind in WHO KNOWS WHAT...but in space.
C.
ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN...
Only a handful knew the real mission behind America's triumph in space, yet all humankind was watching that fateful day in 1969. Now the treacherous Decepticons, hidden from man and machine, have set their sights on unearthing government secrets. The only hope of averting a crisis rests on the Autobots -- But who knows what remains in the shadows?
D.
ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN...
All humankind was watching that fateful day in 1969. But only a handful knew the real mission behind America's triumph in space. Now the treacherous Decepticons have set their sights on unearthing government secrets. The only hope of averting a crisis rests on the Autobots -- yet who knows what remains in the shadows, hidden from man and machine?
E.
WHO KNOWS WHAT REMAINS IN THE SHADOWS?
The treacherous Decepticons have set their sights on unearthing government secrets, hidden from man and machine. All humankind was watching that fateful day in 1969 -- yet only a handful knew the real mission behind America's triumph in space. But now, the only hope of averting a crisis rests on the Autobots. One small step for man...
Check out the next page to see the real synopsis and find out if you guessed correctly!
And the answer is...
D!
ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN...
All humankind was watching that fateful day in 1969. But only a handful knew the real mission behind America's triumph in space. Now the treacherous Decepticons have set their sights on unearthing government secrets. The only hope of averting a crisis rests on the Autobots -- yet who knows what remains in the shadows, hidden from man and machine?
That said, those who guessed B get partial credit, since this choice is probably closer to what the movie will actually feel like.