This originally started as a "Best Movies Starring Celebrity Apprentice Cast Members" post, but I take it you already know about Gary Busey's title turn in The Buddy Holly Story and Marlee Matlin's Oscar-winning role in Children of a Lesser God, right? Great. Because Donald Trump's minions have starred in some prime examples of insanely bad cinema, and we should be celebrating these lesser-known works. Be prepared to experience Lisa Rinna, Gary Busey, Marlee Matlin, and yes, Dionne Warwick, like you've never seen them before.
5. Roadie with Meat Loaf (1980)
Meat Loaf's wall-crashing arrival is one of The Rocky Horror Picture Show's best non-sequiturs, but the Bat Out of Hell yeller's filmography contains more unfortunate acts of randomness. Take Roadie, Meat Loaf's 1980 starring project about a truck driver who becomes a roadie for a rock show. The tagline, "Bands make it rock, roadies make it roll" is cringe-inducing enough, but then you realize that Oscar-winner Art Carney and a number of legitimate acts (including Alice Cooper, Blondie, and Roy Orbison) also take part in this limp ode to rock debauchery.
4. The Linguini Incident with Marlee Matlin (1991)
It sounds like an inscrutable Guns 'N Roses album title, but The Linguini Incident was a very-much-real movie starring Rosanna Arquette as a Houdini-obsessed escape artist and David Bowie as a bartender who scheme to pull off a restaurant heist. You decide who the most victimized supporting player is: the fabulous Iman, the once-unstoppable Buck Henry, or the Oscar-winning Celebrity Apprentice star, Marlee Matlin.
3. No Tomorrow with Gary Busey (1999)
Though Gary Busey had worked previously with Master P on the 1999 hip-hop superstar-studded Hot Boyz (featuring Snoop Dogg, Mystikal, and Silkk the Shocker), it was the other hip-hop movie he made that year that makes our list. No Tomorrow co-stars Pam Grier and British kickboxer Gary Daniels (of course) in this film about a music mogul/crime boss (Master P) who wants revenge after he's cut out of a lucrative deal with an illegal arms dealer (Busey). The poster says it all; this is a harsh cinematic journey through a world of black market grit, and Gary Busey is as harried and unresponsive as ever about it. Believe me, I thought it could get no greater/worse than A Star is Born.
2. Robot Wars with Lisa Rinna (1993)
I didn't expect Lisa Rinna to pull through with one of the most hilarious bad movies on our tally, but by God, she delivered. Robot Wars, which is listed as a sequel to Robot Jox, is about two hijackers of a giant mechanical scorpion who face off against a renegade pilot named Drake and his friend Stumpy. It can't be that much different than Harry Loves Lisa, right?
1. Rent-a-Cop with Dionne Warwick (1987)
And finally: In case the Razzie-nommed duo of Burt Reynolds (as a disgraced police officer) and Liza Minnelli (as the prostitute he falls in love with) weren't enough, Rent-a-Cop features the immortal and graceful Dionne Warwick in a supporting role. If Ms. Minnelli was the one who hooked up Dionne with the part, she should know this is not what friends are for. Please giggle like I did at Minnelli's emasculation of Mr. Reynolds.