Based on the full trailer for The Smurfs, I'm guessing that Shrek 2 and Daddy Daycare writers J. David Stern and David N. Weiss scored the most coveted writing gig in Hollywood. At points in the script where most writers may have paced back and forth for hours, struggling for the right words, this team could simply just fill in any blank with the word "smurf." In just under two minutes, the word is used in four different contexts, only two of which I understood. But will this movie go all the way?
For example, can I look forward to a strange, five-minute-long scene that straddles the line between cute and straight-up confrontational where all of the dialogue is just the word "smurf" repeated with different rhythms and tones? And will the term "mother-smurfer" be used at any point?
I would really like answers to these questions before I invest in a ticket. In all fairness though, the preview did answer a few questions I didn't know I had. For example, I didn't know where smurfs came from. However, they show up to Neil Patrick Harris' house in a box clearly stamped "Belgium." Mystery solved. I also know now what a smurf-version of Katy Perry looks like. Surely, that question would have crossed my mind eventually. In the same scene, I found out that smurfs apparently do not have sex organs. This discovery briefly raised some more questions, but I've since decided that I don't really need or want answers to those.
I am not sure what else to say about the trailer for The Smurfs. It will definitely be in 3-D. It looks slightly more tolerable than Yogi Bear or Alvin and the Chipmunks. Oh also, it features a talking cat who teams up with Hank Azaria. There you go.
Verdict: Smurf.