In Memoriam: American Idol's First Voted-Off Contestant

American Idol's Top 13 collapsed into a Top 12 last night, as the first of the finalists was voted out of the competition. Was it Blubbermaster Blubberer Jacob Lusk? Was it Selena non-threat Karen Rodriguez? What about Haley Reinhart, who has unfeeling opals for eyes? Remember the loser after the jump. Spoiler ahead!

Today we say goodbye to Ashthon Jones, who scored last place on our tally yesterday. So, uh, good job, America. But, sad! Anyway:

Legacy: Ashthon's girl-group hand gestures had us whooping. Her version of "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going" was stirring. She may have acted like one of the more disposable members of Destiny's Child, but she'd have given Matthew Knowles some real hell on the way out.

We Will Miss Most: The '70s Diana Ross updo consisting of curly spheres and unbelievable horizontalness; the unabashed stage-ownership of her Wild Card performance; the effing glamor.

What Could've Been: A rightfully growly rendition of "Got to be Real" during Disco Week, a turnaround performance of "Hit 'Em Up Style (Oops!)" during R&B week, and a weep-inducing rendition of Lisa Lisa's "All Cried Out" (1986) during Year You Were Born week.

Closing Remarks: Ashthon, you served hot sauce during a season that veered to Casey Abrams's smoky and mild Honey Chipotle. Let's pray all your residual voters switch to Naima Adedapo, who is my American Idol and International Superstar Janitrix.