Good and/or dubious news: Anthony Hopkins is rumored to play Daniel Craig's foe in the next James Bond installment. Though Hopkins would no doubt bring the right amount of icy grit, this is pretty obvious casting. Let's pick (and rank!) seven worthier, less expected candidates to release henchmen at 007.
7. Andrew Garfield
Does Andrew Garfield ever plan on taking advantage of his Anthony Perkins-ian stare and gait? I vote for his reintroduction to the film world as a repressed, psycho-sexual taxidermist who plans Mr. Bond's demise by using stuffed owls as voodoo dolls. Picture this man petting a stuffed owl. Chilling.
6. Pierce Brosnan
Remington Steele has seemed a little stale since he ditched Bond, and a return to the series as a villain seems ideal. Everyone deserves more of the dastardliness he brought to Mars Attacks! and Mrs. Doubtfire, and less of the stock-character stuffiness he displayed in Mamma Mia!.
5. Colin Firth
I'm a fan of Oscar-winners who choose Bond movies for their next role. Hell, Die Another Day saved Halle Berry from landing on this list. Colin Firth's turn as a Bond villain could bring us back to the glory days of Octopussy, when the dashing Louis Jourdan outclassed Roger Moore as the suave Kamal Khan.
4. Shia LaBeouf
For some reason, LaBeouf's harsh, fixated gaze has earned him protagonist roles. What's wrong with Hollywood? He should be a monocled magnate named Shipwreck who keeps a coterie of foot soldiers.
3. Sandra Bullock
When she revived the Oscars with her hilarious Best Actor introduction, it became clear that Sandra Bullock is perfect for most occasions. The movie villain world can always use another Teutonic headmistress type, and I'd kill to see Miss Congeniality vamp as Frau Bludgeoner.
2. Christopher Walken
If we're recycling Pierce Brosnan back to the Bond series, why not reuse one of the battier bond villains ever: Christopher Walken? The public perception of Walken has vacillated from "unchallenged thespian" to "batty Edward Munch portrait" since his over-the-top performance as Max Zoran in A View to a Kill, and a role as a new Bond villain presents an opportunity for those extremes to cohere. Perhaps he can bring Grace Jones along again too.
1. Meryl Streep
The world is still waiting for a towering doyenne to torture Mr. Bond (and not in the Xenia Onatopp way), and Streep's unmatched ability to play "haughty" -- in everything from The Devil Wears Prada to Death Becomes Her -- could serve the series well. It'd mark a delightful reprieve from her recent streak of Oscar-nomination shoo-ins (or yet another anomaly in that same streak).