Whoopi Goldberg Apologizes for Misunderstanding the Newspaper

On Monday, Whoopi Goldberg got so mad at the New York Times' article about black Oscar winners that she bellowed about it on her bellowing hour, The View. Writers Manohla Dargis and A.O. Scott didn't mention her Oscar win for Ghost, which prompted Goldberg to call their work "shoddy' and imply that the article should have been more about the bellow-filled career of Whoopi Goldberg. Problem is, the piece never meant to list every black Oscar winner; Louis Gossett Jr. and Cuba Gooding Jr. weren't mentioned either. Goldberg realized this today and apologized in a hilariously half-hearted way.

Said Whoopi on The View this morning:

I'm going to apologize to The New York Times for calling their reporting 'shoddy.' [...] I personally found the article really confusing, and I also was quite hurt that Cuba Gooding Jr., Louis Gossett Jr., and myself were not included in this expose about black Hollywood. But for saying it was shoddy reporting, I apologize, New York Times.

See, NYT, you were confusing! Own it already! You confusing thang! I imagine The View's producers edited out this extended version* of Goldberg's "apology."

"The newspaper was tricking me!" she declared, getting up to run around the table. "It wasn't being fair and square. It was sneaking around with its tricky ideas, trying to make me feel like a fool. Dancing around like a wordy jester, all higgledy-piggledy. Well, you big batch of words, you succeeded. You had your way with me. I am damn puzzled. Elisabeth, honey, don't cry. We'll get through this together. This ball of confusion."

*This apology is not real, but rather a figment of imagination. It upsets me when celebrities malign the media to cover their own mistakes. I can still hardly forgive Paula Abdul!

· Whoopi Goldberg Apologizes to the 'New York Times' [EW]