The first teaser for Saw director James Wan's haunted kid movie Insidious is pretty creepy! At least it seems that way, until you realize that you have no idea what you've just seen. Every image here that's actually supposed to be scary is edited down to a millisecond and cut together faster than a human can blink. Sure, the nothing-scenes that dominate the preview are atmospheric and the last voice over is pretty creepy... but what about the money shots? These editors could splice together frames of kittens and butterflies in low light over scary music and probably still jolt the viewer. So, let's take a closer look with some screen shots of images from those one-second-long montages to figure out whether nightmares will be justified.
·Image 1
What is it?This appears to be a boy in his bed, only filmed in negative. It is preceded by lightbulbs. Neither image is very scary, and filming in negative just seems desperate. So do the monster noises that play over this first montage.
Verdict: Not scary.
·Image 2
What is it? More negative! The kid is...reaching for something?
Verdict: I don't think it's scary...
·Image 3
What is it? A bloody handprint! Based on the wedding ring and the hand, it looks like Rose Byrne probably finds this one night. Bummer.
Verdict: A little cliche, but we're getting there...
·Image 4
What is it? Victorian era girls are scary enough, but when they appear vignetted and are most likely ghosts or demons, it still hits some primal fear nerve.
Verdict: This is scary.
·Image 5
What is it? I watched this scene about a dozen times and it still looks like a wine bottle coming to life and jumping at someone's face. It is probably not that. Still, There's too much movement to do a freeze frame that gives any hints. Before this, something throws someone against a wall (in negative). I don't know if the two are related.
Verdict: Hung Jury.
·Image 6
What is it? I don't know! But old people are terrifying in fish-eye lenses!
Verdict: Horrifying!
·Image 7
What is it? The last montage features a gasmask (pretty distinguishable), more light, and groups of people looking scared. But I like this image the best - it appears to be some sort of ghost detecting machine rebelling against the ghost scientist.
Verdict: Sure, that's scary. If we can't trust our ghost-detecting machines, what can we trust?
Here's the entire trailer with all of the above images in motion.