The other day the interweb guffawed in secret delight at the SFW teaser trailer for Superman XXX, the latest in a string of highly successful adult films to parody mainstream properties. Naturally, we had to shove aside our pristine moral sensibilities to investigate this phenomenon, which is only going to grow larger as porn studios spin-off entire geek-centric imprints to market their wares to all those people crowding Patton Oswalt out of his favorite booth at Bennigan's.
But onward into the great ETEWAF! Behold, nine more geek porn parodies past, present, and future that you know you want to watch. Just do it on your own time, and don't tell Patton.
Batman XXX: A Porn Parody
The superhero parody that spawned the recent boom in geek porn, Batman XXX was such a success it launched the new Vivid production arm Vivid-Superhero for director Axel Braun. Dad Lasse is a porno chic legend himself; Axel will carry on the family legacy by next tackling adult versions of The Green Hornet, Spider-Man, Wonder Woman, Captain America, Thor, and The Incredible Hulk. He didn't get that MENSA membership for nothin'!
This Ain't Avatar
Evan Stone is the Stephen Lang stand-in whose militaristic bosses are mining for "unrefined viagratanium" on the alien planet Panwhora, where human Jake dons blue body paint and teaches the locals how the sky people get down. In 3D.
The Human Sex-ipede (First Sequence)
If any movie from 2010 was primed for the XXX treatment, it was Tom Six's horror pic about three unfortunate souls sewn together by a mad surgeon. Director Lee Roy Myers (who's been up for awards for previous porn riffs on The Big Lebowski, Cheers, and Seinfeld) lends a sense of humor to the original story, while the porn version of Dr. Heiter drops one-liners. Example: "I'm so dirty the girls from Two Girls One Cup have to videotape their reactions when they watch me." [NSFW trailer at Fleshbot]
Reservoir Dogs
The studio that brought you Justice League porn is making a three hour, "dialogue-heavy" XXX version of the Quentin Tarantino classic, with ladies in the roles of Ms. White, Ms. Blonde, Nice Girl Eddie, etc. The only problem we have with this is, who watches porn for the talking? [Still in production, no trailer available]
Star Trek: The Next Generation XXX
Also coming your way in the New Year: Captain Picard and the crew of the Starship Enterprise getting it on in outer space! Well, almost; the cast will be headlined by a mainstream actor in the role of Picard, which probably means your Dr. Beverly Crusher slashfiction dreams won't come true. Better odds are on a Worf-Deanna-Riker ménage a troi. [Still in production, no trailer available]
Super Hornio Bros. 2
Rather than wait for his recently announced upcoming food truck-themed porn (really), take a trip back in time to the year when Ron Jeremy suited up in those iconic overalls and gloves to play a naughty version of Mario from the Super Mario Bros. video games. Here's the trailer. You're welcome.
The Sex Files: A Dark XXX Parody
FBI special agents Dana Scully and Fox Mulder FINALLY get it on in this award-winning XXX take on the long-running sci-fi series The X-Files. The 2010 prequel involved mysterious deaths by bodily fluid exchange, bondage, shady government officials, and hot aliens. In other words, it looks better than The X-Files: I Want to Believe.
The Flintstones: A XXX Parody
Based on the Hanna Barbera classic, this jaunty caveman romp has everything you remember from the childrens' cartoon: Fred Flintstone sans pants, Barney making Betty's bed rock, Pebbles playing house with Bamm-Bamm... On second thought, this is wrong. So very, very wrong.
Star Wars XXX in 3D
The crowning glory of 2011 in porn will most likely be this 3D rendition of Star Wars, set to hit shelves in September. Axel Braun plans on following each installment of the saga in sequels, and told fans what they can expect from the franchise-starter: "I think that Chewbacca will definitely have a scene so will Darth Vader and Luke and Han Solo and of course, Princess Leia will be the big scene at the end. We can't say who she's going to have sex with but it's gonna be entertaining." Ready your light sabers, fellas!