The 20 Most Anticipated Cultural Dates of 2011 -- STV's Picks

Who's excited for 2011? I said, who's excited for 2011?? Oh. Well, maybe this list of dates, designations, and not just few fearless predictions for the next year in culture might help stimulate your interest. Failing that, there's always the rest of Movieline's future-positive anticipations to get you through. Onward!

Jan. 16: Gia Mantegna's riveting turn as Miss Golden Globe 2011 upstages Ricky Gervais and makes home viewing audience momentarily forget they're watching the worst awards show in the history of modern vanity.

Jan. 21: A new Greta Gerwig movie! Yayy!

Jan. 21: Hobo With a Shotgun premieres at the Sundance Film Festival.

Feb. 27: Jacki Weaver attends 83rd Academy Awards, wins Best Supporting Actress Oscar for trenchant, terrifying work in Animal Kingdom.

March 23: Mel Gibson returns to screens in The Beaver. If you don't want to be around when Hollywood temporarily disappears up its own moralizing ass, maybe plan to take that week off now.

April 8: Another new Greta Gerwig movie! Yayy!

April 8: Will Your Highness be James Franco's Norbit? (Wait -- don't answer that.)

April 23: Tyler Perry's Madea's Big Happy Family makes its way to theaters, starting the Perry-for-Oscars chatter anew in 2011.

May 27: Finally! We can move on to the post-Tree of Life phase of our cultural lives.

June 24: Will Caesar: Rise of the Apes be James Franco's Norbit? (No, seriously. Sorry.)

July 1: Transformers: Dark of the Moon opens. Reports of theatrical post-traumatic stress disorder skyrocket by 600 percent.

July 12: Second-year Giants catcher Buster Posey hits two home runs, wins MVP honors for victorious National League team in the MLB All-Star Game.

July 21: Marvel introduces new Iron Man franchise helmer Lars von Trier as Comic-Con gets underway in San Diego.

Aug. 3: Live-action/CGI Smurfs adaptation grosses $486 on opening weekend. Sony execs express great satisfaction with overachieving box office, fast-track sequel for fall 2012.

Aug. 19: Fright Night -- a remake people are actually looking forward to -- opens nationwide. Awesome.

Sept. 2: The Telluride Film Festival launches the most competitive awards season ever with the dueling world premieres of Piranha 3DD and the Taylor Lautner thriller Abduction.

Nov. 18: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 shatters The Dark Knight's opening-weekend record by, oh, $700 million.

Dec. 16: Alvin and the Chipmunks: Ghost Protocol arrives in... wait. Mission: Impossible -- Chipwrecked? Gahhh, I can never get these these two straight.

Dec. 23: Academy Award-winning director David Fincher returns with a hotly anticipated adaptation of some hot Swedish airport pulp -- with nipple rings.

Dec. 28: Steven Spielberg's horse movie opens. Will it be next year's Blind Side?



Comments

  • TurdBlossom says:

    Really looking forward to Fright Night, The Green Lantern, and Super 8

  • shamous says:

    A Twilight movie beating The Dark Knight? I guess Sparkletards have really taken over this site. Too bad. If you missed it the last one declined. Even the insipid idiot teens are sick of the mess. The only good thing on that list is Fright Night.

  • Looking forward to Transformer 3.
    However, I dare say that nothing can beat The Dark Knight's record yet. Even inception could not make it.

  • HC says:

    haven't the last Twilight movies beat The Dark Knight's single-day opening? (i know, shame)

  • Looking forwards to new year and happiness~~

  • The Winchester says:

    The only movie I will see Greta Gerwig in (and enjoy) would be the second segment of that Human Centipede.

  • G Dazzle says:

    Shouldn't you qualify the Jan. 21 entry by stating that it's a Ashton Kutcher rom-com? Even Greta probably won't save that.

  • Jaymz says:

    What about July 17th? Part 2 of The Deathly Hallows? Call me crazy but shouldn't the LAST Harry Potter movie be a pretty big deal?

  • Jaymz says:

    What about July 17th? Part 2 of The Deathly Hallows? Call me crazy but shouldn't the LAST Harry Potter movie be a pretty big deal?

  • JM says:

    I hate coming to articles like this thinking I'll find something worth reading only to see all this biased, trying-to-be-funny crap.
    And what's with the Greta Gerwig fascination?
    Has she done something wonderful that I missed?
    I never even took note of her name til this article.

  • "I never even took note of her name til this article."
    Sigh. I don't come to you with my problems.

  • Ethan says:

    This article is riddled with bias and poor taste, I'm disappointed IMBD deemed this article worthy for their front page.