Can you believe that we live in a world where five versions of The Fast & The Furious exist? Me neither! But they do, and people love them. Which, despite having never seen one of the films in this franchise, I can understand: Watching property get decimated at an alarming pace is fun...especially when you don't have to clean up after all those explosions.
Vin Diesel and Paul Walker star in Fast Five as the type of robbers who like to burn money. Literally. There's probably some Robin Hood-like goodness to them -- after all, they're the stars of the show -- but that doesn't mean Dwayne Johnson doesn't want to hunt them down and arrest them. Or something. Frankly, I got distracted during that part by Johnson's absurd goatee. Not that plot matters here: Cars go fast and explode. Rise, repeat, buy tickets. Face it: As long as people keep showing up to see these films, Universal will keep making them.
VERDICT: Vroooooom.