What hath Twilight wrought? Oh, right: A bunch of unappealing rip-offs on both the big and small screen. The latest is Red Riding Hood, which combines Hollywood's current fetish with rebooting children's stories (in this case, "Little Red Riding Hood") with the Jacob portion of Twilight. For those who have been wondering what a Catherine Hardwicke-directed New Moon would have looked like, here's your answer.
Amanda Seyfried stars as Valerie, the red riding hood of the title, a medieval maiden who falls in love with the wrong boy (Shiloh Fernandez) while her village is under siege from a werewolf. Naturally. Gary Oldman, Lukas Haas and Max Irons co-star -- let's assume one of them is the Big Bad Wolf, and not Fernandez -- and the whole thing looks art directed to the nth degree. How cool would it be if Valerie's red hood was juxtaposed with virgin snow? Not as cool as you thought.
VERDICT: Not afraid.
If the trailer gets pulled down, head over to Apple.