"You are a marijuana addict...with narcissistic personality disorder," a substance counselor diagnosed George Christopher last night, adding the final assessment shortly after noticing a massive self-portrait hanging from George's wood-paneled office. I am curious then, how any kind of mental health professional would diagnose the real Jonathan Ames, after watching last night's season two finale, "Super Ray is Mortal!," which featured another cameo from the real Jonathan Ames in a series that that centers on a marijuana-dependent character, also named Jonathan Ames. Who knows! For now, let's get to the final Hipster Quotient of the season.
Number of Zelda Fitzgerald References: 1, when George is told that he will have to go to rehab for a failed drug test, he says he would prefer going to a sanitarium because it is more "romantic" in a Zelda Fitzgerald way.
Number of Stuffed Superheroes (Complete With Hand-Sewn Vagina) Made By Ray's Stalker: 1
Number of Kevin Bacon References: 1, Ray suggests that his stalker may be Kevin Bacon, whom he met earlier this season.
Number of Truman Capote References: 1, Jonathan tells Ray: "It's funny that you should make a Super Ray costume and your stalker should make a Super Ray doll. It's like when there were two Truman Capote movies."
Number of Hostel Rooms Wallpapered in Brooklyn Hipster Comics: 1, when Jonathan and Ray get a lead on Ray's potential stalker, they bust into the suspect's hostel room only to discover the extent of the stalker's obsession with Ray.
Number of Bags of Organic Popcorn Eaten During the Middle of a Stakeout: 1, Ray broke into his stalker's food stash within the first 20 seconds of their stalker stakeout.
Number of Moby Dick References Used With a Marijuana Abuse Counselor: 1, George revealed that he felt like Moby Dick, being harpooned over and over again by his coworkers.
Number of New Yorker References: 1, By Jonathan's nemesis Louis Green who recently won the New Yorker fiction contest.
Number of Keyholes Peaked Through: 1, By Jonathan during Louis Green's interview with the dean.
Number of Fantasies Entertained About Running Away to Tangier to Smoke Hashish: 1, After George quits spontaneously because he refuses to go to rehab for his marijuana dependency, he and Jonathan stroll the streets of Brooklyn contemplating back-up plans.
Number of Homemade Superhero Costumes Worn By Ray at Brooklyn Comic-Con: 1, Super Ray
Number of Childhood Wonder Woman Fetishes Revisited at Brooklyn Comic-Con: 1, George can't help but ignore Jonathan after noticing a beautiful Wonder Woman holding court across the convention center.
Number of Homemade Super Ray Tribute Shirts at the Brooklyn Comic-Con: 1, worn by an eager teen fan.
Number of X-Acto Knives Stabbed Through Ray's Homemade Superhero Costume By Series Creator and Real Life Jonathan Ames: 1
Number of Pivotal-Yet-Poorly-Acted (But Clever?) Roles in the Season 2 Finale: 1, by real-life Jonathan Ames, as an unconvincing deranged stalker of Super Ray's.
OVERALL: Fictional Jonathan Ames enjoyed a whirlwind arc this second season that had him exploring sex dungeons and helping sexually confused cops and rescuing transsexual spa workers in between hits from a corn cob pipe. Unlike other television characters, Jonathan may not have grown immensely (although he did get over one cancer scare of George's and a wrecked relationship with the help of his own Lolita) but he ended the season happy, healthy and, as always, on the lookout for ganja. And really, that is all we can ask of our Bored to Death P.I. hipster hero.