It is a truth universally acknowledged among die hard Veronica Mars fans that every time one '09er comes to terms with the fact that Neptune's favorite female super sleuth -- immortalized by Kristen Bell -- will have to settle for solving crimes in the television afterlife, another hopeless '09er tries to rally the fans to plead with Warner Bros. one more time for Veronica's silver screen adaptation. It's a nasty, hand-biting cycle for Kristen Bell and the 70,000 or so dedicated VM fans...that veered wildly off course today when Warner Bros. -- the party responsible for keeping Veronica from her feature film debut all of these years -- finally agreed to set up an official petition line. Rather than get our hopes up (again), Movieline reviews the Veronica Mars Film Campaign Timeline and makes an educated decision about whether this latest development is worth any more hope.
June 2007 -- The CW Officially Canceled Veronica Mars
After three seasons on the air, the network finally pulled the plug on its Kristen Bell sleuth series after fans waited six months for the official decision. At the time, creator Rob Thomas mentioned that he was interested in adapting Veronica Mars into a feature film.
September 2008 -- Rob Thomas and Kristen Bell Reportedly Meet to Discuss a Veronica Mars Film Plot
While spearheading another Cupid remake, Thomas and Bell hashed out an arc for Neptune's heroine that would place her in the middle of a large-scale college crime -- rather than an FBI scenario, that had previously been batted around in a Veronica Mars season three DVD bonus feature.
September 2008 -- Enrico Colantoni Reveals That He Would Be Willing to Participate in a Veronica Mars Film: This Surprises No One
During a slow news cycle, EW reported that the actor responsible for playing Veronica's father, Enrico Colantoni, was open to the project. "Cult shows have translated well into the film arena. Nothing's official, but they're talking about it," he added.
January 2009 -- Rob Thomas Declares That Veronica Mars Is His Next Priority - Hints That Joel Silver Will Green-Light the Film
During 2009's Television Critics Association press event, critics bulldozed Rob Thomas' Cupid panel to ask him questions about returning to Neptune. "For me, that's the next project [after Cupid]," Thomas said. "But my writing it is really just half the battle. Somebody has to pay for it." Later in the panel, he indicated that Joel Silver was on board.
February 2009 -- Joel Silver Does Not Green-Light the Film
Veronica Mars fans are crushed.
June 2009 -- Kristen Bell Announces That She Does "Not Think Film Will Ever Happen"
The actress told EW two summers ago: "I don't think it will ever happen, and here's why: [Series creator] Rob Thomas and I had a powwow, and we were both 100 percent on board. We took our proposal to Warner Bros. and Joel Silver told us that there is no enthusiasm [there] to make a Veronica Mars movie, and that is unfortunately a roadblock we cannot compete with."
January 2010 -- Rob Thomas Agrees That the Film "Is Not Happening" In No Uncertain Terms
At the next year's Television Critics Association press event, Rob Thomas flat-out said, "No" when asked about the project. "I would write it if anyone would finance it. If anyone's interested in making that movie I am available, Kristen's [Bell] available. I would love to do it. I think the closest we came was Joel [Silver] pushing it at Warner Bros. and they didn't bite. It has sort of gone away." Furthermore, Thomas added that in spite of previous rumors, there has never been a Veronica Mars feature film script, although he would be willing to write one.
April 2010 -- In Spite of Previous Statement, Rob Thomas Says That the Film is "Not Dead"
Sigh. The Party Down creator told recent MMC addition and loyal Veronica Mars supporter Michael Ausiello that "It's not dead. I continue to want to do it. It's funny, because the rumors go around and around.
June 2010 -- Joel Silver Disagrees, Says the Film Is Most Certainly Dead
"We analyzed all these areas about it," said the Warner Bros. producer. "I talked to the home video people, because a movie like that would be driven by video. The [season DVDs] didn't do that well... So they didn't feel there was a need or an audience."
September 2010 -- Kristen Bell Miraculously Regains Hope in the Project, Calls For Veronica Fans To Unite For Twitter Campaign
The actress tweeted in early autumn the following: "Mars fans - can we bug @wbpictures & tell em the must do a VM film?? New tactic. Bombard em w/tweets, there's evidence of fans they can't ignore. [...] #veronicamars fans send petitions & any obsessive behaior (sic) u have 2 @wbpictures & demand the film. they c no audience 4 it? i beg 2 differ. [...] WB says their research shows the movie wont have an audience. i disagree. currently figuring out how to show them."
September 2010 -- Kristen Bell Threatens to Fund Veronica Mars Film
It was an empty threat, but a threat nonetheless. Completely aware of the fact that she could not legally because Warner Bros. owns the rights to the franchise, the actress told THR this fall that she would totally fund the film if she could. "So my duty, because I wanted this movie made from the minute our show got canceled, is to a) do it before I'm 40; and b) to prove to Warner Bros. that there is an audience."
September 2010 (Moments Later) -- Kristen Bell Threatens to Fund a Veronica Mars Web Series
And what if that film never pans out, countered THR. "I would be down with doing a Web series," consented Bell. "I think, and I don't speak for anyone else but myself, but I think that they want it grand because it is deserving of being on the big screen."
October 2010 -- Movieline Calls For Warner Bros. to Officially Retire the Veronica Mars Franchise, Put Fans Out of Their Misery
"Apologies to Kristen Bell, but every time I read about the Veronica Mars movie, a little part of me dies," wrote Christopher Rosen of Movieline. And most of us Veronica Mars fans agreed.
November 2010 -- Warner Bros. Sets Up Official Petition Email For Veronica Mars Film
In an under-the-radar Twitter announcement last Friday, Warner Bros. announced "Thanks for all of the Veronica Mars LoVe! Please send your film requests and petitions to VeronicaMarsMovie@warnerbros.com."
Conclusion From the Above Timeline: Thanks for giving the Veronica Mars Movie an actual email address but, no, this still means nothing. And it would probably be healthiest for all of us Neptune '09ers, as much as it pains me to say it, just...move...on.