At some point yesterday you may have noticed The King's Speech was having one of those weeks: A bunch of award nominations on Monday followed by a bundle of anti-MPAA goodwill gift-wrapped and delivered on Tuesday. And then came... this, the first American poster for the Weinstein Company's Best Picture thoroughbred. Looks like someone needs needs more than just speech therapy.
I know Todd Phillips hates it when we do this, but! Let's break it down (the full image is below):
· Tagline
"When God couldn't save The King, The Queen turned to someone who could." No, no, no, no, no. First of all, "The King" and "The Queen" are not capitalized. Bad copy editing! Second of all, who are the king and queen? Are they on this poster? If so, who are they? How does anybody know? And what does the king need saving from? Also, let's not bring God into it; it's more alienating than it is ingratiating. If the goal is to broaden heartland appeal or something, downplay the monarchs and put the king in the military attire they used in the British poster. And maybe call it Transformers: The King's Speech. Or Jackass 4.
· Photos
Aside from the gruesome Photoshop mask of Colin Firth's face, what are Helena Bonham Carter and Geoffrey Rush even doing with their faces? What's with the hair tufting out over Carter's forehead, all thin and wispy like the crazy lady digging for exact change in front of you in the grocery store's quick-check aisle? Why does Rush look as though he was sculpted from a raw potato? These are three hideous, hideous visages lined up about as elegantly as eight-track tapes at a garage sale. And face it: Neither you nor I are in the market for eight-track tapes. (And don't even get me started on that backdrop; if they were going for "clogged toilet," they got it.) Why is no one speaking or preparing to speak? I'm so confused.
· Credits
You have one Oscar winner (Rush) paired here with two Oscar nominees. Director Tom Hooper, meanwhile, helmed the brilliant John Adams for HBO. So: Where is this talent legacy on the poster? Come on, son! If the Weinsteins are trying to sell prestige, I don't want to hear about it in horrible taglines and semi-recognizable British stars made up to look like Masterpiece Theater walk-ons. I want to see OSCAR OSCAR OSCAR. I want that golden kiss all over the place and the aura to immerse me. I want blurbs. I want demonstrable prowess, not, "Your in-flight crew today is Colin, Helena and Geoffrey. We'll be cruising at an altitude of BORING."
Anyway, this poster is terrible.
· The King's Speech Poster: Exclusive Moviefone Premiere [Moviefone via Awards Daily]