International undead superstars Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie made waves as they adopted an adorable, impoverished child from the slums of São Paulo only to feast on its delicate, ambrosial brains moments after the paperwork was completed. Jolie, whose ethereal beauty is now only slightly dampened by her grey, mottled skin and gummy, sallow eye whose dead stare haunts all those who encounter her, released a press statement, declaring "Braaaaaaiiiiinnnnssssss....brrrrraaaaaiiiiiinnnssssss." Ever the trendsetters, Brangelina's new walking dead life style has sparked a flurry of celebrity copycats; Madonna was spotted recently in the markets of Marrakech measuring the craniums of orphaned waifs, while Sandra Bullock is judiciously reading up on the fat content of Korean baby brains versus Romanian child brains.
