Logo's The A-List: New York Preview: Spray Tans and Faux Fame

If Logo's RuPaul's Drag Race is the pinnacle of reality competition series (which it is), then that network's The A-List: New York seems poised to achieve the opposite: the nadir of regular old reality TV. It's a Real Housewives riff featuring six gay men who call themselves "A-list" without a hint of either self-consciousness or validity, and it should be pretty great. Look! This guy's spray-tanning because it's the only thing that's important to him. Guffaw. Time to watch the preview of tonight's debut episode and pick out the uproarious parts.

Stray observations:

· "My name is Derek, I live in Chelsea, and I have a fabulous life." You know how you can tell someone's life is fabulous? When they insist it is.

· Derek says he's never heard of castmate Reichen Lehmkuhl's new boyfriend, a Brazilian model, and that's a big deal since Derek works at a modeling agency and knows all winsome South Americans. The fury. Because how socially unacceptable would it be if Reichen were just dating someone really hot? Just preposterous, I'm sure.

· Reichen was a winner on The Amazing Race some years ago, and he used to date Lance Bass. That makes him A-list. Just like Omarosa, Johnny Bananas from The Real World/Road Rules challenges, and the Christian wingnut from Wife Swap. Us Weekly can't get enough.

· "I go to the most amazing restaurants, clubs," says Derek. "Like, anywhere anyone can't get it, I'm there. I never have to wait behind a velvet rope. My name is on every VIP list in the city." Now he sounds just like Paul Johnson Calderon from the CW's High Society. Or like a story I write in second grade about "Hollywood glamor." Sample: "I'm on all the red carpets," said Academy Award nominee Roxanna Lingenflossen, flinging her feather boa. "And just between you and me, sugar? I love to do DRUGS."

· "I'm best friends with Lindsay Lohan. She stays at my apartment when she's in New York. Seann William Scott is a close friend of mine." And a fine job you did friending up with Lindsay Lohan! She strikes me as the type with trustworthy pals. The Seann William Scott hilarity speaks for itself.

· "If you read about me on Monday morning," Derek says, "it was a fierce weekend." It's actually my job to read blogs for a living. I can't remember any fierce weekends of which he speaks. But you know what? They're to come on this season of The A-List: New York.

· And to top it all off, Derek has a spray-tan fixation. You're never going to out-orange Michael Kors, dear. Quit while you still have pores.