Die Hard director John McTiernan (funny that no one is referring to him as "Last Action Hero director John McTiernan") was sentenced to a year in prison for not being completely honest with the authorities about his involvement in a wiretapping scandal. That got me to thinking: This is the guy who directed Predator and Die Hard! If anyone knows tricks on how to escape an impossible situation, it's him.
Since 15 years have past since McTiernan helmed either film, he could probably use a refresher course on the tactics John McClane and Dutch employed to escape even the most dire of circumstances. Here now are five tips from McTiernan's two Die Hard films and Predator. Who knows, they may just come in handy.
(Also, yes, this gives me an excuse to post clips from Die Hard and Predator.)
1. Fire Hose Jump: The most obvious and easiest way to escape. Assuming that he can somehow make it to the roof of the prison, all he needs to do is wrap a firehouse around his waist and let the laws of gravity take over. The hose should safely propel him straight through a window below (I mean, after he shoots the window out, obviously.)
2. Find a Bazooka: That pretty much sums it up.
3. Cover Yourself in Mud: Law enforcement officers who happen to be using any sort of heat seeking observation devices will be unable to see McTiernan once he's cooled down after soaking himself in mud. Note: This also works on Predators.
4. Elevator Bomb: If McTiernan can get ahold of some C4 and an old cathode ray tube computer monitor (I feel the cathode ray tube monitor may be more difficult, these days) this can be combined with an office chair to make one nifty little bomb to be sent down an elevator shaft.
5. Don't Worry About Roads: If being chased, especially in heavy traffic, don't be afraid to think outside the box and create a route more suitable to current needs. Just try not to aim for too many mimes.