Survivor Loser Review: Did Coach Jimmy Johnson Need a Hail Mary?

Survivor's sniveling Espada tribe decided to do something about the "threat" that football coaching legend Jimmy Johnson posed: They voted his wise, old gibbon face off the show. Of course, Survivor's real "threats" are the contestants who don't get anybody to talk about them, since it's clearly loudmouths like Wendy Jo, Shannon, and Jimmy who crumble. Still, let's see where it all went wrong for the S.O.L. NFL legend.

People knew who he was.

Jimmy's fate was sealed the minute he entered the game and dared to be a recognizable human being. In a competition where having a bionic leg means you are an Al Qaeda-like threat, Jimmy's reputation as a stalwart leader was his undoing even before Jeff Probst first laid eyes on his capuchin haircut.

There was no other obvious castoff this week.

Dan's name had floated around in the discussions leading up to tribal council, but ultimately Jimmy's name -- which has been bandied consistently since day one -- seemed to stick.

He called himself weak.

Call it honesty, self-deprecation, or a moment of valor, but Jimmy's tribal council confession that he was "one of the weakest players" was mostly just stupid. By doing so, Johnson distanced himself from the contestants who'd already declared themselves, well, un-weak, and added another target atop the 20 previous ones already affixed to his back. He was weighed down with targets, see. Though Jimmy was an amiable contestant and his loss will be felt for at least another 13 minutes, let's consider the bright side: NaOnka lives to wrestle immunity clues from lesser mortals for at least one more episode. See you next week!