Movieline

Introducing the SNL Scorecard: The Good, Bad and Ugly of Saturday Night

Saturday Night Live's 36th season commenced last night with alumna Amy Poehler as host -- Poehler's first time in that role, making her only the fourth former female cast member to handle hosting duties. A lot of changes were made in the offseason: Abby Elliott and Bobby Moynihan joined the main cast; Will Forte moved on and Jenny Slate wasn't invited back; Vanessa Bayer, Paul Brittain, Taran Killam and Jay Pharoah were all added as feature players. How did the new blood fare in their first episode? Not surprisingly, they weren't seen much (though they did get a chance to briefly wave to the camera during the opening monologue... so that's nice). Even more importantly, was SNL any good? Movieline busted out its fresh new SNL Scorecard (along with the patented Not-Ready-for-Prime-Time-Player Relevancy Poll) to make sense of it all.

Sketch of the Night

"Wedding Venue" (Hader, Poehler, Bayer): An RNC (and partial DNC) sponsored commercial that details all of the other activities that will be going on at the Ground Zero Mosque: Gay weddings, free naturalization for Mexican citizens, a pregnancy terminations facility and, most frighteningly, an espresso bar.

Score: 8.5

The Good

"Weekend Update" (Segments: Jay Pharoah as Will Smith, "Really!?! with Seth and Amy," Fred Armisen as Governor David Patterson): Last night's Update was in full stride -- Seth Meyers' recent ESPY hosting gig couldn't have hurt in keeping him sharp. Of course, SNL's insistence on bringing on the public figures that they parody, once again, brought the show to a screeching halt with the appearance of New York Governor David Patterson (made up for, slightly, by Patterson "unknowingly" wandering into the camera shot.)

Highlights:

· Poehler's rant on Don't Ask, Don't Tell

· "Ahmadinejad's predicted the defeat of capitalism. Predicted? At this point it's more like he noticed."

· Jay Pharoah as Will Smith -- really the only notable contribution, performance-wise, by any of the new featured players.

· "The sounds of nail one, two and three" -- Poehler on the new American Idol judges (wait, isn't SNL still on NBC?)

Score: 8.5

"Hair Restoration" (Armisen, Wiig, Sudeikis, Moynihan): Yep, a fake commercial for male pattern baldness pubic-hair transplants. The look of joy on Moynihan's face sells this all by itself.

Score: 8

"Amy Poehler's Monologue": Poehler brought in a lot of guest stars for a dream sequence involving her pre-show jitters. Rachel Dratch, Justin Timberlake (a welcome non-surprise, considering he's been in New York promoting The Social Network), Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon all made appearances. As mentioned, the new featured players got a chance to wave at the camera and, as it turns out, Nasim Pedrad does an outstanding Kaitlin impression.

Score: 7.5

"Actor II Actor" (Samberg, Timberlake): Perhaps because it was just so short. Samberg, hosting a serious actor interview type show, after an impressive buildup, breaks down and only asks Timberlake when he's going to make more music.

Score: 7

"The Even More Expendable" (Ensemble): The last sketch of the night, a spoof on the "of course it's going to happen" next Expendables film. This time staring: Steven Seagal, Chris Tucker, Brigitte Nielsen, Eugene Levy, Brooke Hogan, Hooch, Tracy Chapman, Rod Blagojevich, Steven Slater and Kim Jong-il.

Score: 6.5

"Boogerman" (Digital Short): The first digital short of the season was okay, but fairly unmemorable. It was basically a parody of over-the-top award show musical presentations for nominated songs from films in this case, a song from the film Boogerman. This would have been a lot better if they had skipped the award show spoof and just stuck to the fairly dramatically cut trailer for Boogerman. "I was born The Boogerman... and I'll die The Boogerman!"

Score: 6.5

The Bad

"Christine O'Donnell Cold Open" (Wiig, Hader, Sudeikis): Of course there was going to be a Christine O'Donnell cold open. I mean, why not? The material writes itself. Well, that's also the problem: They let the material write itself. Wiig, as O'Donnell, pretty much spends the entire cold open listing off her strange positions over the years, but ultimately It's funnier listening to the real O'Donnell discuss witchcraft and masturbation. (Note: This and "Ladies who Lunch" were really Wiig's only real contributions to last night's show. In the past, the writer's overdependence on her hasn't helped the show. Perhaps this is a good sign that the rest of the cast will be given more to do on a weekly basis.)

Score: 5

"Maternity Matters" (Armisen, Wiig, Hader, Poehler): Look, the first time they did this sketch, I thought the premise was funny. The sensitive female host calls in sick so her brash producer, Roger Brush, fills in for her. I don't know, there's something here -- the premise is certainly funny. The execution just feels off as a recurring sketch.

Score: 4.5

"Showtime" (Poehler, Wiig, Elliott, Pedrad): The concept is on the mark. Poehler's one-legged "Amber" character is given her own Showtime series. The sketch centers on Poehler, in a junket type environment, trying to describe what motivates Amber. Again, funny concept, but her answers were almost too close to what actors actually say in these situations -- which is not much of anything.

Score: 4

"Ladies who Lunch" (Poehler, Wiig, Elliott, Bayer): Small hats are in fashion. The smaller the hats get, the more jealous Wiig's charter gets. Nothing much here.

Score: 3.5

The Ugly

"Bronx Beat" (Poehler, Rudolph): I have never, ever understood why "Bronx Beat" gets such a good position in the show anytime it's in the lineup. Whatever: I get it's one of Poehler's recurring sketches and I get that it was a good excuse to feature the always welcome Maya Rudolph. Would it have been so wrong to come up with something new? Also, Katy Perry made an appearance wearing a "wink, wink -- get it?" Elmo shirt for really no reason.

Score: 3

Average Score For This Show: 6.04

This Week's Not-Ready-for-Prime-Time-Player Relevancy Poll

1. Seth Meyers

2. Kristen Wiig

3. Bill Hader

4. Andy Samberg

5. Jason Sudeikis

6. Fred Armisen

7. Bobby Moynihan

8. Jay Pharoah

9. Kenan Thompson

10. Nasim Pedrad

11. Vanessa Bayer

12. Abby Elliott

13. Taran Killam

14. Paul Brittain