Big Brother Repulsion Index: Hayden Takes All

BigBrotherRachel.jpgWe had to survive 75 days, 24 chum baths, two showmances, and one shrieking Vegas cocktail waitress, but Big Brother 12 has finally passed. Phew. Summer really is over! Click through for the last BB repulsion rankings of the season.

And surprisingly, this season's top two players -- Hayden and Lane -- didn't even find themselves in the final Repulsion Index. Congratulations, boys -- you won again!

BigBrotherRachel.jpg3. Enzo ("The Token Guido")

Most Terrible Words Said on Camera: "I love CBS! I can't wait for this party tonight. I'm dirty dancing with every one o' you guys who are at this party tonight. I'm having such a good time. Thanks to me for putting me here. Thanks to my parents for making me."

Repulsion Index: Though Enzo is repulsive, his blue collar Jersey ways are somehow endearing, even when he's joking about packing a sheriff into the trunk of his car. OK, maybe not altogether endearing, but still, there was something still lovable about the greased goon who somehow managed to place third in this season's competition. He may not have brains, but his everyman attitude earned him the unilateral vote of "best social player" this season. Let's just hope that CBS doesn't fall for his finale shilling and offer him the chance to host a future POV competition. Enough with the Jersey stereotypes. That means you too, MTV.

BigBrotherRachel.jpg2. Matt ("The Self-Described Genius Who Lied About His Wife Having a Fatal Illness to Garner Pity In the House")

Most Terrible Words Said on Camera: "Sup guys. Kicking me out of the house was the best move you made. Had it been a brigade final four like we thought it was going to be you guys know as well as I do that I would have annihilated you all."

Repulsiveness Profile: Even Big Brother's benchmark for repulsion, Evil Dick of Season 9 (who, you may recall, wished that a fellow contestant be brutally raped and killed) would never lie about a loved one having a fatal illness just to garner pity in the house. Karma, guys. Julie Chen could barely conceal her distaste for Matt when she scolded him for using the word "succubus" on camera to describe Britney.

BigBrotherRachel.jpg1. Rachel (The "Scientist" Who Is Officially Credited as a Cocktail Waitress")

Most Terrible Words Said on Camera: [To the token gay houseguest ]"Grab your tiara and go be a f*cking queen."

Repulsiveness Profile: Movieline salutes you, Rachel, for reigning as the most repulsive player this season even after you were booted from the household. You terrorized the competition with your pitchy valley girl musings on strategy and your hideous laugh (the echo of which is still trapped deep inside the Big Brother set). You assaulted competition with empty threats ("Grab your life vests, floaters!), argued that you were the most genuine person in the game (and if hair extensions equaled authenticity, we would agree) and flushed your prize money down the toilet for a swim coach named Brendon who cannot correctly pronounce the word "neanderthal." You've set the bar for reality show contestants so low that CBS might have to discover underground cities just to find reality show contestants who can out-repulse you.



Comments

  • TurdBlossom says:

    I get the feeling Hayden would gladly give Lane a hand if asked should he surprise him in the shower, if you know what I mean and I think that you do.

  • joe says:

    big brother is the most disguisting show on TV after the Aprentass. I thought Rachel was kinda nice tho...

  • don says:

    Thought the season was a success. Although it would be nice to be a fly on the wall when dumb and dumber's (A.K.A. Rachel and Brendon) showman fails. How about a fan poll just to find out who people think is dumb and who is dumber

  • Citizen Bitch says:

    Rachel was a one of a kind combination. I think Matt was the most repulsive though.

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