1. Fear
The first thing you feel when hitting "play" is fear, goosebumps appearing as you wonder which other miscellaneous cast members are going to jump in on the group rap. Could it be Schue? Principal Finnigan? Will Sue Sylvester leap in? The remaining 4:36 of this song cannot take us anywhere near a regionals first-place finish.
2. Disgust
You just swallowed painfully, picturing Cory Monteith in the middle of a robo-stomp while white-rapping the following lyrics: "I used to cop in Harlem/All of my Dominicanos/Right there off of Broadway/Brought me back to that McDonald's."
3. Enjoyment
Even though you felt a little nauseated, admit it: you're tempted to listen to this song again, even though it was already grossly overused to shill another over-hyped entertainment project in the past year, Sex and the City 2.
4. Confusion
Why are you experiencing so many emotions while listening to a kiddie-bop version of a Jay-Z song? Why are you cringing -- disgusted by the excessive use of autotune -- yet playing the song on repeat? Are Glee audio exports supposed to make you peer so deeply into your psyche?
Where are the answers?