Big Brother Repulsion Index: Chumscrubbing with CBS

8 years ago

In case you were not clear why the Repulsion Index is a fitting recap for Big Brother, let me just explain that in last night's episode, producers handcuffed Britney to her sworn enemy for 24 hours and subjected the bound couple to hourly chum baths. Let's see how that horror show, along with last night's POV competition -- which caged each of the houseguests like they were wild animals -- shook up the Index.

3. Matt ("The Self-Described Genius Who Lied About His Wife Having a Fatal Illness to Garner Pity In the House")

Most Terrible Words Said on Camera: "Private Toolbag, reporting for active duty."

Repulsiveness Profile: Those are the words Matt smugly used to describe Brendon's new Big Brother-mandated buzz cut (pictured above). At least Brendon (who has been a regular here at the R.I.) was willing to subject himself to extreme torture during last night's challenge to win the P.O.V. Matt on the other hand was naively expecting his alliance (who will definitely vote to evict him during tonight's vote) to carry him through this week's competitions.

2. Jesse ("The Meathead From Last Season Who Nicknamed Himself 'Mr. Pec-tacular'")

Most Terrible Words Said on Camera: While subjecting Britney to her Pandora's Box punishment, Jesse said, "You know what you are going to feel? The burn, toots. Look right here Britney. You have amazing guns in front of you. Two amazing guns."

Repulsiveness Profile: I was actually pleasantly surprised to see Jesse jump out of Pandora's Box...until I realized that he was going to squander his camera time by joylessly delivering weight-training tips to Britney. Jesse, last night's ridiculous segment could have re-launched your career! Opportunity missed.

1. Lane ("The Farm Boy Who Has a Crush on Britney")

Most Terrible Words Said on Camera: "You gotta understand," Lane said to Britney, "I'm not going to put you in harm's way. I'm Lane." Seconds later, Lane ran into the confessional to say... "Don't get me wrong. I do adore Britney. She's a great girl. But I will manipulate Britney to get what I want."

Repulsiveness Profile: Maybe I am being protective of Britney since she is the only female left in the game but I find it wrong that Lane continues to side with his dead weight alliance members over the single player with whom he shares palpable chemistry. As Louis said yesterday don't care who's engaged. Legally, everyone on the show is "engaged" to the nation's sexual whims. Tie our knot, please."