Congratulations, America! Like the rest of the developed world, soon you, too, will get to experience Case 39. The horror movie that Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper shot all the way back in 2006 is finally (finally!) scheduled for release on Oct. 1 -- never mind that interested parties could probably find it on DVD by doing a Google search -- and based on the trailer, expect it to make slightly more than Twelve.
Zellweger stars as a social worker who saves a little girl from crazed parents who are trying to send her to hell -- or are they? Spoiler: They are, but only because she's some sort of miniature she-demon with a Midas touch of death. That's bad news for everyone -- especially Cooper, who seems to die pretty early on, likely because he wasn't famous when this thing was shot. Ian McShane shows up, too, to get attacked by a dog. Case 39 is one of those horror movies in the tradition of The Ring. If this was 2007, that might make you excited. Alas, without a time machine...
VERDICT: No thanks.
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