After a tortuous few weeks of eliminations, So You Think You Can Dance chose its Final Three last night. Who's going on to the finals? Who's going on to audition for Jason Derulo videos with the line "Fourth-place burnout" on his resume? Come with us to mourn the loser.
AdéChiké finally bit the dust after a month of backhanded compliments from everyone in the studio. Cat tried to comfort him and say he did a good job and the rest was still unwritten, but Mia Michaels was turning roundoffs in the aisles, slapping fives with audience members and screaming, "You're finished" like an old-timey Hollywood exec. Farewell, AdéChiké! Remember when you outlasted Billy Bell? Hate you.
That leaves us with Lauren, Robert, and Kent. (That's "bearable female," "gay porn Aladdin," and "gyrating toddler prince" for those of us bad with names.) Robert'll go next week, and Lauren will win in the end. Wouldn't a Kent victory be disappointing? Yeah. Perkiness never deserves accolades. You don't see Sandy Duncan with a shelf full of Emmys. Have some Wheat Thins and settle in for second, Kent.