Four dancers left. Three succeeded last night. The other was AdéChiké. That leaves us adding up the second-to-last week of performances and predicting who'll move on to the finals. Join us for judgment!
· Lauren's spot in the final three is surely solidified -- or is it? Even after a night of twisted tangoing and explosive jazz, she has a couple strikes against her: 1) She's been in the bottom three before, unlike critical underdog AdéChiké; 2) She went first in the broadcast, which is almost never a good sign. (Seriously, check the stats.); and 3) The judges spend more time exalting Kent than ever before, and a lower-key pro like Lauren may seem less memorable to home viewers. But it's the dancing that matters to all of the b-boys at Movieline, and I declare Lauren's tango to be a slick, balletically restrained sexfest and her jazz number a whole lotta Janet Jackson jive. Lauren is now in the running to become prime minister of the Rhythm Nation.
· AdéChiké, give it up. If I have to handle another week of your polite hand-waving as you mysteriously survive an elimination, I'm calling Mia Michaels myself and saying, "Do you know what this show is? It's donut holes. You know what donut holes are? (Three seconds of silence.) They're nothing." And she'll agree, touch her face a lot, blink some, and note, "Ya." AdéChiké bounced through his African dance number and kept up with a contemporary routine set to the undanceable howls of Melissa Etheridge, but the judges have this one right: He's not perfect enough to make the Top 3. He doesn't even have a "hungry jazz face." He has an "unappetizing jazz stare." Not the same thing, just ask the authorities.
· Robert could make me a believer. I thought he dominated the group's Guys and Dolls number early in the show -- even if guest judge Tyce Diorio (how annoying was he this episode?) claimed Kent boasted the star power. Robert nailed his Viennese Waltz, even though that's never a vote-getter, and he positively outshone all-star Dominic in their psycho-circus hip-hop routine. But here's what keeps me from loving Robert: Robert. Ugh, the fake head nods to the judges! Maintaining character after the dance is over! The fake laughs! I'd rather see Billy Bell wear another frilly dandy outfit. Tone it down, Robert, or America will tone you down with a big top full of contempt.
· Kent is the clear frontrunner, but why? The best dancer in the competition should be adaptable when it comes to character and mechanics, but Kent only has the moves, y'all. The judges have yet to point out that if he can't eliminate his goofy grins from every performance, he must not take his dancing roles seriously. Thankfully, Adam Shankman delivered a succinct criticism when said that Kent's disco performance required less ebullience and more intensity, but the inability to channel that intensity in the first place should be a red flag for the panel. Nevertheless, Kent topped off the show with a stirring contemporary routine, and it had just the right amount of somber walking, homoeroticism, and betrayal cliches to make the judges think it's Jesus-worthy. I'd rank Kent in third place tonight following first-place Lauren and second-place Robert. The other guy can enjoy donut holes in the comfort room.