1. Pauly Shore
Yes, the movie star-turned-mockumentarian desperately needs a dramatic role to convince millions of television viewers that he is no longer the Weez. The Adopted filmmaker told Movieline last month that a turn on a network procedural is just the kind of role he is looking for and maybe this could lead to that part in Quentin Tarantino's next major film that Shore was hoping for.
2. Lindsay Lohan
After 90 days in a court-mandated drug rehabilitation center, Lohan could use a season-long arc on the network series to help scrub her image as a former drug user, profanicurist, and all-around uncooperative actress. (It might also be a welcome change from her next project, a gritty biopic about porn star Linda Lovelace.) May I suggest Lohan play Sara Sidle's (Jorja Fox) former Harvard colleague, a socially awkward genius who graduated college at the age of 18 and went on to work in forensics. Linsay's character will stay in Las Vegas for one year until she, also a materials and element analyst, helps Sidle solve the case of a serial murderer who only targets homeless war veterans.
3. Mel Gibson
The actor-turned-serial-ranter could use a miracle -- or a forum to reach out to his former audience. May I suggest that Mel, in an uncredited role, embodies a crippled blackjack dealer who witnesses a brutal casino crime and is used to hunt down the killer, who turns out to be (spoiler alert) a delusional actor set on recreating a bloody Ocean's Eleven heist. At the end of the episode, Gibson could premiere the first installment of his anti-domestic violence campaign. Too soon?