It couldn't have gone any other way: Last night's SYTYCD results show eliminated two beleaguered (though beloved) contestants who were never going to beat the judges' pretty-much-literal golden child Kent Boyd. B-Boy Jose was ordered to pop and lock elsewhere, while the voter-repellent Billy Bell -- my choice to win -- finally succumbed, too. (He was dressed like Charles Nelson Reilly trying to join the Second Continental Congress too, which didn't help.) We're down to four competitors, and now that the best one just left us, who's our best bet to win now?
Simple process of elimination will aid us here. Robert isn't dynamic enough to win, Adechike will never have the others' vulnerability, and Kent's one-dimensional winsomeness is going to peak before the final episode. It's Lauren, easily the most versatile performer of the final four and the most resilient, who should triumph in the final hour. Face it, a girl winning it all -- at this point, after weeks and weeks of withering femmes -- would be Shakespearean in scope and glory. It should happen for her, though I don't underestimate Kent's power to enlarge his sapphire eyes and channel a voter vortex with the energy of his delirious stare. But if American Idol's underdog triumphs from David Cook to Kris Allen to Lee DeWyze have taught us anything, it's that Lauren's star will reach maximum magnitude at just the right time. I'm on board.